My feelings “Becoming to much”

[Spirit19]

When did I become so numb?

When will I kill myself?

All the words that leave

Feel like like nothing

I'm paralyzed

Where are my feelings?

I no longer feel things

I know I should

I'm paralyzed

I’m dying inside

I'm paralyzed

When did I become so numb?

When did I become ashamed? (oh)

Where's the person that I thought I knew

They must have left

With all my feelings

I'm paralyzed

I no longer feel things

I know I should

I'm paralyzed

Where is the real me?

I’m lost and it kills me inside

I'm paralyzed

I'm scared to live but I'm scared to die

And if life is pain then I buried mine a long time ago

I’m lost, lost in the moment

They say time heals

But to me

It hasn’t

Kayla...

[Spirit19]

“I’m not suicidal “

[Hidden]

I'm feeling the same

I started believing that if we share our pain, it will be easier for us to live.

Everything is becoming too much,

We think to much and we die too much, we live too much and we are sad too much

[rach1402]

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time and I hope you find the help you need, whatever that might be. I feel numb a lot these days too, not sure whether it's my mental health problems or the medication but a lot of what you said rang true. I hate being numb but on the other hand at least I can function with the medication. I wish there was an easy solution. I hope you have found some comfort in sharing your thoughts x

[Spirit19 in reply to rach1402]

Are you dreaming of me mom? Where’d you go? I chose to believe every word I was fed . Thought you loved me? Thought you cared? Am I a ghost to you mom? So many things you took away from me . I will never forgive you for what you put me through.

[rach1402 in reply to Spirit19]

I can also relate to that. I don't see my mother any more and I'm all the better for it. I'd be lying if I said the past doesn't still play on my mind but still trying to figure out a way to move forward and leave all the baggage behind. I hope you can find a way to do that too, I wish you the best of luck.