I can't cry

Sorry I keep posting, but I feel so safe here. I haven't had a good cry for years. Oh, I teared up at my therapist, but it wasn't even worth a swipe of kleenex. I haven't cried at sad movies or anything. Just too empty to feel anything but anxiety and depression. Has anyone else felt this way? Thanks for putting up with my posts.

[Starrlight]

Are you on medication by chance? I ask because I have the same problem and I feel like the culprit is the meds.

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Currently I am being weaned off of my last anti-depressant. I've been on meds since 95, but had a horrible relapse in 2011, was fine until 2015. I never thought it could be the meds, but it could be. I also think my fuzzy brain is caused by switching meds on a regular basis. I just blame myself for my physical/mental failings.

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

It’s not your fault.

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Thanks, Starrlight, but I have regrets from before my relapse, so EVERYTHING is my fault. I appreciate you responding to me. <3

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Forgive yourself Jhbo 😊

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Thanks starrlight...I will do my best.

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

It can be hard but can be done. Best to you!

[weegmack]

Bless you, you’re feeling so terrible. Yes, I’ve had that empty feeling a lot. I think in part, it’s what you say about your meds - they do dull your emotions. But you may be feeling a sort of disassociation from yourself and your feelings - it’s like you shut off to everything because it’s just too hard to think about and deal with.

It doesn’t mean you have no feelings - it just indicates that you are struggling just now and very depressed. 😕❤️

[Hidden in reply to weegmack]

Oh weegmack, my feelings just go 'round and 'round in my head. I do try to disassociate myself so I don't feel so overwhelmed. You are right, I am very depressed. Had to retire from work because my d kept me from continuing. I still dream about the good things I remember from my job. Just so confused. Thanks for your reply.

[weegmack in reply to Hidden]

You’re overwhelmed to the point of inaction I think. And that’s ok. I imagine most people on here will have felt that way at some point. The constant thoughts are unbearable, aren’t they? I think that points to anxiety too. I’m prone to bouts of depression but my main issue is Anxiety Disorder- that keeps my mind very busy with all sorts of horrible thoughts.

Why are you changing your meds?

[Hidden in reply to weegmack]

I was put on an MAO inhibitor which seemed to add to the anxiety. Since 2011 I have been through all of the SSRIs and none have worked. Went through LOT of ECT in 2011 which helped but hurt my memory. I am losing hope that any med will help me.

[weegmack in reply to Hidden]

MAO inhibitors are really harsh - I think they were the first ever antidepressants made in the 1950s. But I understand why your doctor tried you on them if SSRIs didn’t work for you. Ask your doctor about Tricyclic antidepressants (amytriptaline for example) or SNRIs or NASSAs. I know about tricyclics but I don’t know much about the other two.

Are you battling with past trauma? Xx

[Hidden in reply to weegmack]

I am not battling any past traumas, as far as I know. My life has been pretty much uneventful with no great problems. My dr. is putting me on a tricyclic called clomipramine. Willing to give it a try. I just feel as if nothing will help me with my anxiety/depression.

[weegmack in reply to Hidden]

You’re brave to keep trying new meds and I really hope these help you. Mental health is so complex and everyone responds differently to the meds. Xx

[Hidden in reply to weegmack]

Thanks! I hope I'm not fooling myself with all of these meds. Love to you!

[weegmack in reply to Hidden]

And love to you too ❤️. You’re definitely not making a fool of yourself - quite the opposite: you’re determined to get well and keep trying. Xx

[Sillysausage234]

🦋🍀🌹✌🏼🌞xx

[Hidden in reply to Sillysausage234]

THANKS!

[Sillysausage234 in reply to Hidden]

Your very welcome. Xxx🎶🎵🎹🎸🌞

[Hidden]

I felt like that before. You know what I did? I said forget this! I got to find somewhere to go. Even if its for a walk. Sometimes we can cry until we are empty then find other things in life to feel up the well again. Good and bad things. You can only stay down for so long. Only way to go is up now. Go up with a big HUG from me and take deep breaths while you take a walk outside or listen to up beat music. I'm all ears if you need me.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

My1Friend, thank you for your reply. I know I need to get out and walk/work out, but it's REALLY hard. I always forget to use deep breathing techniques, but I know they work.

Gotta remember up is the way to go.

[Hidden]

Try dancing to music in your own home. You know... while no one is looking. Start two stepping first, then get your neck into it... so on... Dancing helps especially when you know it is the jam! Don't think about what others will think if they saw you. You got to own it like ahhhhh that is my jam right there! Make sure you turn on lights when you do this as well. Have fun! on that note... I am going to post the encouragement song of the day! HUGS!

Don't worry! fanlink.to/rot

[puglove0093]

That feeling is the worst!! I never had it for crying, but I did have it for laughter. I felt like I hadn’t really, truly had a deep belly laugh in ages. I think some others commenting are right…Medicine can do some strange things like not being able to cry. I hope that you get it figured out because I know how frustrating it is to keep trying new meds, getting off them, feeling lousy and so on. I know that it will get better!! There is a light!! Praying for you.

[Hidden in reply to puglove0093]

Thanks puglove, I hope you are right. I haven't really laughed out loud or cried for a long time. It's time to start. We have Netflix and I ordered a copy of "Superstore" dvds for us to watch. It's time to get going...

[puglove0093 in reply to Hidden]

yes! Laughter is good medicine. And trying to always keep a list of things you are grateful for. That always keeps my mind/heart in focus and helps me to be joyful, even if I don't feel it.