New...just saying hello

[Bosshog]

So many people hurting here...I wish you all so much strength in turning things around. Just joined, hoping to find some new perspectives. I’ve never been diagnosed with anything...never actually been to a doctor about it though. I’ve struggled with many events in my life since I was about sixteen. I always believed I was just going through a series of life’s kicks in the groin. I’m 43 now and I realise that most probably all those years of feeling down, have shaped my way of thinking into something that now seems like depression and anxiety.

I wake up feeling on top of the world, usually lasts through the day, then in the evening time, I spiral into a dark dark place where my life and every thought is unbelievably negative. This builds into a state of panic as bedtime approaches. I wake up, and it’s as if I’m a different person.

Last night I went to bed early, and the kids woke me up. I shouted at them, and I know it’s because I was taking my anxiety and tension out on them, I’ve never done that before...I even made them cry. It felt like a tipping point....taking it out on my kids felt like a new low.

I live overseas, have few friends, little family, and many work worries. I rarely leave the house from where I work, and I know the isolation is a major issue - I’ve lived like that for the last fifteen years.

I know something has to change - last night showed me that. Guess that’s why I’m here writing this. Thanks for reading.

[Hidden]

Welcome to the group. I’ve noticed that is is common to have either good mornings or good evenings. My mornings are awful totally full of anxiety and then I’m great by bedtime. I started walking the other day and noticed the next morning I wasn’t as anxious, so I plan on continuing the walking.

[Bosshog in reply to Hidden]

Hey - you’re so right about exercise. In the past it has been the only reliable and consistent way of feeling better. Had a lapse for one reason and another - getting back into it now...thanks!

[Hidden in reply to Bosshog]

It really is powerful, just like taking a medication! I went on another walk today and feel at ease. It’s what our minds and bodies need to counteract stress and anxiety.

[Bosshog in reply to Hidden]

Absolutely agree. A natural high

[Hidden]

Welcome aboard! I'm sorry you're going through this. Are you seeking any help? You've got to put yourself first & that's not being selfish, you're special...there is only one you! I wish for you peace of mind & am here for you. Love & hugs!!!

[Bosshog in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your kind reply and welcome! I’ve occasionally been speaking to a therapist- and that helped in the past when I had some deeper family related issues that were lurking inside. At this stage I sort of know what the problem is - just can’t seem to reverse those dammed neural pathways!!

[Hidden in reply to Bosshog]

Hang in there & fight the good fight for you! I'm here for you if you need to chat! Love & Hugs!!!

[froggymom88]

Welcome Bosshog! Exercise is a great tool for relieving stress and anxiety for sure. Another good tool is saying positive affirmations when you go to bed and repeating them a number of times. They don't have to be long or fancy. Here is one I use, " all will be well". I just keep saying it until I feel more relaxed and can sleep. Hang in there because "all will be well"

[whydowesufferso]

So very sorry for you, I feel your pain!