I want to make a life change -- a specific and simple dietary change and start walking again, even if only short distances. I did what I often do at these times: I neaten things, clear off and clean the kitchen counters, pick up around the house -- prepare, I guess.
But I can't find that window that let's me break out long enough to go do. For no reason in particular, I'm having a lot of trouble with anxiety paralysis, mild depression, general sadness about so many things and a severe dip in my confidence level.
I don't know what things are like in other people's heads, but I really want to do these very simple couple of things, especially knowing that they will help me feel better in my head, too, if I can get going.
Really thought I was ready. I don't understand why this has to be so damn hard. I don't understand why I don't seem to have the will to just GO to the store, COOK the food, WALK out the damn door. It's not a phobia; it's just an unwillingness to move.
Two decades of therapy haven't taught me any kind of exercise to pull this off. And I don't want to delay any longer trying to get started. I'm so effin frustrated (in every way). In the past, all I could do was wait until the window opened. I want to be able to open it myself.
How do I do it?