Anxiety kills me

[Momoftwins510]

Hi everyone, I normally don’t do this type of stuff or seek for answers because I feel as if I’m just crazy at times. I have a soon to be fiancé that loves and adores me and 3 beautiful kids.. one is 5 in kindergarten and I just had twins 3 months ago. I’m a stay at home mom which I absolutely love and blessed with because I never thought I’d have that opportunity. But lately I just feel like I question everything if it’s right or wrong.. I’m not so laid back as I used to be and I hate myself everyday for it. I beat myself up but I don’t take it out on the kids.. my weight is the biggest I’ve ever been and my self confidence is just never there.. I start thinking I’m not good enough for my man at times.. I just wish I could shake it off and start fresh which I try to and I just end up back depressed because of something. I don’t know if this will even help but it’s worth a shot maybe talking about things.

Thanks for reading

[Hidden]

Is this postpartum depression?

[Momoftwins510 in reply to Hidden]

I wouldn’t say so.. but it may be.. I’m depressed about a lot but it’s not nothing new since I’ve had the babies. I don’t just feel depressed like to where I can’t take care of the babies or anything..

[Momoftwins510 in reply to Momoftwins510]

It’s more of me just not feeling confident in myself, nor feeling like I can do anything right lately I guess I just don’t feel appreciated in anything I do lately around the house, it’s just a sucky feeling.

[Momoftwins510 in reply to Momoftwins510]

I just truly have a bunch of emotions I just keep bottled in because when I do talk about them, nothing seems to ever get fixed or worked on.

[Hidden in reply to Momoftwins510]

I’ve been struggling with this too, total lack of confidence. Get a good self help workbook and go through it, so some self discovery. I am doing the codependents anonymous 12 step workbook but there are many others.

[hypercat54 in reply to Momoftwins510]

PPD can range from mild to very severe so it is more than likely it is either causing your depression or making it worse. I would go and see your doctor and ask for some help. Oh and it would help to stop saying things like 'I hate myself'. This gets you absolutely nowhere and encourages you to run yourself down even more. Just accept you have an illness which isn't your fault so don't take it out on yourself. x

[agse01]

I think it's a great choice to reach out and talk about your struggles! We are not meant to do this life journey alone! It's possible that you are dealing with postpartum depression. I wouldn't hesitate to talk to your doctor about what's been going on and how you are feeling. Some of it may just be your body adjusting. Hormones are still surging through your body and it will effect you physically, mentally, and emotionally! As for your weight, give yourself some grace. You just had twins! It will take your body awhile to adjust and the weight won't come off over night. Make healthy choices with food and exercise (as much as you can) and the weight will eventually go away. Most of us take anywhere from 6 months to a year to lose our baby weight! I want you to know you are good enough. You are not failing! Parenting is hard work!