Craving normalcy

I really want to feel my normal self which I no longer know what it looks like.I don't how to cope from this ocean of confusing feelings inside me.two years before I suffered from health problems and now I still have some which is irritating because it just won't just go away after tons of treatment.it is stressing me out .I'm no able to concentrate on my studies .I m not even able to explain why I'm feeling like this so I could ask for help.please suggest something which could be helpful.

[Lakewolf]

Having been where you are, I can tell you that dwelling on the problem does no good.

You helped yourself immensely by posting about it.

[Hidden in reply to Lakewolf]

Thank you .

[Lakewolf in reply to Hidden]

You’re more than welcome. I’m glad I could be of some small help.

[Lakewolf]

I have been on disability since 2001. My last day of work was in Dec. 2006.

Work was my life.

I realise now that becoming disabled was the best thing that could’ve happened to me. I’ve been in chronic pain since 1979...and I wore out my body by working 60-80 hour workweeks for 18 years.

Though I have pain every day (with no painkillers), I now have a network of people that I can connect with who love me.

I’m sure that you can form the same kind of network here.

[Hidden in reply to Lakewolf]

I really hope so.

[Lakewolf in reply to Hidden]

Start with me. 😁

[Hidden in reply to Lakewolf]

Thanks for your support sir.it means a lot .I'm not good at expressing myself.maybe it is one of the reason why I'm in this state .but I really want to overcome it .I really do

[Lakewolf in reply to Hidden]

Actually, I’m a 59 year old woman 😂😂😂😉... but it doesn’t matter. All that does matter is that l want to be here for you.

[-Poetic2]

Have a friend whose son suffered from a life threatening disorder. He did get better but she, after 10 years of stress over his health problems, developed a kind of ptsd. She even freaked one day when her dog had a symptom. PTSD?

[shadow68 in reply to -Poetic2]

absolutely i used to think that only happened to 1st responders, cops, and even those around us get sick from worrying and stressing over us. then if ur like me u seem to find a way to blame myself

[Lakewolf in reply to -Poetic2]

Absolutely. I have PTSD from when I was in grade school & part of High School.

My life was threatened on a daily basis. My grandmother, who raised me, called the school several times. It got to the point that they kept me after school until all the buses were gone, so my attackers wouldn’t be there.

After a while I stopped telling her what was going on, because I didn’t want her to worry about something that couldn’t be stopped.

I told my psychiatrist about some of the more minor things (like being pushed in front of a moving bus during an ice storm. He stared a me for a full two minutes, openmouthed and utterly shocked.

It was a brand new experience to a watch a psychiatrist react in that manner.

So, as you can see, I’ve a bit of experience with such matters. Love you all.

[shadow68]

what ur doing is what me and thousands of others like me and you are doing. reaching out and finding just what were looking for. a normal freaking life. for me it would involve going back to a dark place thats no fun to be in when you fell like no one could ever understand. BUT were out there homeboy, just keep reaching out because when you do man your helping someone like this OG out with my bad day. were never alone even when i feel like i wanna b

[shadow68]

you know i feel the same way every day now too and as long as i keep coming back to this site and seeing how many people care enough to reach out and say they have my back. as far as the the pain your having and when i get to a point where i wanna scream i pull out the head phones and crank up some tunes i haven't heard in a long time and i feel somewhat better for a lil while. so i hope this helps a little and hang in there. i don't know how else to make you feel better but to let you know i'll be here when u need it.

[Hidden in reply to shadow68]

It means a lot.I really appreciate it.thank you

[Lakewolf]

...and I will do my utmost to be available if anyone needs to talk, ok?

I don’t have to know you to love you...and I do. You all are my brothers & sisters, AFAIC.