Hello, everyone! I hope you are all having a good morning. Acceptance is something that has been on my mind lately. I've been in this community for about a week and am growing more comfortable in sharing. I find that I like sharing what is going on with me because someone out there may be able to relate- making both/all parties feel a little less alone in what we are going through. I think the hardest part for me is acceptance. Acceptance of all the hurts, diagnoses, and the new normal that life has become. I have my good days and my bad days, and I think I always will have some bad days- it's just the matter of accepting it and rolling with it until it passes. I have tried to fight it, but came out feeling even worse because I "lost the battle" and still had an episode. Some days I feel okay and at peace with what I am going through, and other days I feel so frustrated to the point it is hard to be still. I truly think once I gain more acceptance of all of the realms of the hurts, diagnoses, and the new normal, then I will gain more control over my life rather than it controlling me.
I feel alone in my thinking sometimes, but does it make sense what I am saying? Have you ever felt like you struggle with acceptance?
As always, thank you for listening and I hope you all have a positive day
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Jane_Doe2018
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Hey Wannachange, I hope you are doing well today Thank you for your post, do you have any specific suggestions for yoga? Like, any types/styles that you would recommend?
I didnt do much because I don't get time much but yah morning you can enjoy sun by taking exercise of deep breath and calm. Which is best moment of my day. As usually I do. And day goes well.
I'm glad to hear that is a good time for you and that it helps your day to go well. Maybe I can make it a routine in the morning after I wake up and have a similar experience
Yes, it;s difficult to accept few things, sometime i am not able to accept current situation, the reality and I like to live in my own world of imagination. May be it won't make sense to you, but it helps me. One thing i learnt is don't wait for bad phase to pass, make something good out of it.
It makes total sense, Redfox9, and I appreciate your comment. I tend to do that as well, like an escape from reality. Thank you and I hope you have a great day, as well!
I do believe all of those who struggle with anxiety, depression, OCD, PTSD, bipolar issues have had issues with acceptance. And I do believe that the more people talk and admit to their diseases I think society as a whole would be more acceptable to mental diseases such as physical diseases. I do believe that the stigma behind admitting to having a mental disorder has put a dark cloud on treating people as human beings instead of these crazies that society thinks about as such. Don’t know if I’m making any sense hear. Lol I’m trying though. I don’t hide what I have at all anymore. And to be honest I think the fact that I’m more open about it has relieved the stress of hiding the disease. But I do think the mental health system in this country has a lot of catching up to do. I think that people with physical ailments are treated much much better than those with mental diseases. And I think that far too many Drs are quick to prescribe an antidepressant without really understanding the cause of the symptoms. But that’s a totally different subject. Samson
You are making total sense and I agree with you on many points. Once I told my family, I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I haven't received the warmest of welcomes from them regarding my illnesses, however, some are educating themselves the best they can to better help me-and that means the world to me.
I told one family member about having bipolar disorder(recent), depression, and panic disorder, and they literally called me a "basket case". This family member was not alone in their thinking, as I come from a family where everything is hush-hush and not talked about. It felt extremely painful because I realized I could not get the support I needed from the source I thought would mean the most- my own family. It still hurts to think about at times, but I remember that I am not defined by a diagnosis or what others may think of me. I'm not a basket case, but rather, a human being that just so happens to live with mental illnesses. I am not defective, nor am I a danger to society- the image I feel others have sometimes. I tell myself that when I think about my family. I actually feel bad for those with misconceptions because they are missing out on so much due to their ignorance. I don't mean that in a rude way or anything, but rather in the most literal of ways- lack of knowledge/information.
It was definitely a turning point in my life, though, because it sparked me to seek professional help, and online support groups and communities. I will forever be grateful for you, and others, in this community. I am apart of HU and DBSA, both of which have been life-changing for me.
Yes! Every time I have a depression episode I feel what you are describing. I do want to be in control of my life, my feelings, when the depression hits, but when I think those things I get discouraged. I think we can only look at today and what we can do to help ourselves today, one step at a time. Just like those with cancer, depression is an illness and we can fight like mad to get better every day! I hope you have a wonderful day and keep fighting! You can still win!
Hey BlueBelle06, I like what you said about taking it one step at a time. I find that I try to take 20 steps and get frustrated when I fail. I really need to keep realistic goals in mind and not rush things. Thank you, and I hope you have a wonderful day as well
Thank you all It is helpful to hear your experiences, and I appreciate it <3
I've learned (or supposedly have learned) to be prepared with a plan for when I am limited in what I can do in a day. I try to have a very short list of what I intend to accomplish each day and give myself grace when I can't even do that. I even have big happy face stickers for when I do three things on my plan for the day and even write in nap and check it off after a nap!
socalpoppy, I love the concept of what you are talking about. Like I was mentioning to BlueBelle, I've learned that I need to set realistic goals for myself and not be so hard on myself. I am extremely anxious and have had panic attacks in cars, traffic, and public places. Today I had a therapy appointment and drove, waited, attended my appointment, and drove home. To me, that is accomplishment enough and I felt so good about myself after. I also felt drained and I took a nap Thank you for sharing this with me, it gives me a great idea.
This has been on my mind all day. I’ve been trying to understand why I am having trouble accepting myself. If I know of another who say has a similar talent as me or is the same hair as me, I decide theirs is better even if they are basically the same. I’ve always felt I was inferior but I don’t know why.
Thank you so much for posting. I think we will be friends. Have a beautiful day!
Thank you for sharing this with me, Starrlight. I have felt that way at times too, but I have learned not to compare myself in negative ways. It is hard to do at times, but I think it is important for ourselves/self-confidence that we remember we matter just as much as others. I'm sorry you are going through that. We are so critical of ourselves at times, but try to remember to be kind too! I think we will be friends as well, and I hope your day was beautiful too <3
You fought your anxiety and you came off feeling worse. Some fight their anxiety for years and wonder why nothing changes.
Why should this surprise us? Fighting involves stress, strain and tension. All the things that gave us anxiety, and the depression that comes out of anxiety, in the first place.
Most problems in life you fight. It's the default reaction and rightly so. The one exception is anxiety and panic disorder. Instead we have to stop all the fighting. We must surrender completely to our anxiety (for the moment). Agree to coexist with anxiety (for the moment).
Learn to live with anxiety and you'll be able to live without it.
When we truly accept anxiety we cease to fear it. What is there to fear? Anxiety is a nasty feeling but people have made business presentations whilst having a panic attack. You just carry on.
Learn to accept the symptoms of anxiety and you stop fearing it. Can't accept and fear it at the same time. Less fear means giving nerves time to heal.
I'm sure I've told you this before, Jane_Doe2018, sometimes it's good to hear it twice.
So remember: Learn to live with anxiety and you'll be able to live without it.
Jeff, always such words of wisdom. I have been listening to Dr. Weekes for about three days now. I really enjoy her. I am finding that tasks that used to scare me are becoming less scary. You might end up needing to tell me multiple times, lol, because I need it. I have listened to the same piece several times and things just click and make so much sense when I listen to her. I actually applied it today at my appointment. I was waiting for my therapist and I felt like I was about to have a panic attack. I reminded myself that I wasn't in any danger, that it was going to pass in time. It kept my "second fear" at bay and I didn't have a full blown attack like I normally would have if it were two weeks ago. It's moments like those that I really understand what Dr. Weekes was talking about and it really works. Thank you for your post, Jeff, and I hope you have a great night
Practicing meditation and mindfulness is what helps me. It snaps you out of those judgments and puts you in the present moment.
Thank you, anonygrl. I am new to meditation and mindfulness. I have an app, headspace, that I use to practice it. Since it is new, I am using the 3 minute option to start with. I plan on building up over time. It's hard sometimes, and those 3 minutes feel like an eternity at times. I am also attending my first mindfulness group tomorrow at 11:00. I am excited and kind of nervous because I don't know what to expect. I usually feel good after doing headspace, so I am hoping it will be a similar experience. Thank you again for your post!
It sounds like you are aware of your feelings. Acceptance is the last stage of grieving. If your life has changed, you have to go through the grieving process to heal. Don't be too hard on yourself, the path to healing is not a direct path.
Thank you, Ann. I like to think that is the last stage I am in regarding the loss of my dad. It was quite traumatic and happened suddenly with other deaths (aunt and grandfather, paternal). You are absolutely correct and I love how you mention that the path to healing is not a direct path. There have been many times before that I felt like I should be over it already. I gently remind myself that there is not a time limit on the grieving process. I must learn to not be so hard on myself. Thanks again, Ann, and I hope you have a wonderful day
Thank you. I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your father and other family members. Have you considered honoring them with some of their favorite traditions during your holiday get-togethers?
Thank you. I think it is a great idea to honor them in that manner. I honestly hadn't thought of it because everything felt so numb/raw the first couple of years. You gave me a great idea that I plan to talk with my sister about! Thank you
I think over time I’ve learnt to accept that I will never be the person I once was...and that’s ok...it’s quite complex , and at times I’m still in denial...but I’m learning to manage my metal health better...
Parts of not being who I once was are sad but also it’s made me appreciate other things , that as a workaholic I never would have ....so it’s fiven me a different time....more time for loved ones ...
Hope you understand what I mean....there’s so much to it at times, but I learn new managing techniques all the time...
I do understand what you mean and it has given me great insight and a perception change (in a good way). I find myself going back and forth at times, too, mainly over mental health issues. I really appreciate your reply, Olivia, thank you <3
I am so happy you shared this. I have been dealing with the same issues and thoughts. Its nice to hear someone thst can relate. Please know you're an inspiration to others. That in itself is a beautiful thing!
Hello Jane Doe2018. A few minutes ago I wrote a post just about that. How do you do Acceptance? Unfortunately, I don't have much to offer you, except that I too struggle with it. Just maybe it has to be practiced and learned little by little, trial and error. I know I have some circumstances when I can kind of do it (quiet at home), but it is harder outside of home, which I still try and will keep on trying. I suppose it is like anything, it takes practice.Hope you get a better response than mine. Just know you are not alone. Be well.
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