Morning of despair

[Strongest123]

Hi everyone. Woke up this morning feeling utter despair and hopelessness. Felt so freakin sad. I was trying to put on a happy face for my little girl, love her so much. I keep focusing on the what if’s? When I should concentrate on the so many blessings I have. My daughter is going away with her mom, stepfather and grandparents for 14 days, that’s going to be so hard not seeing her. I know I need to keep busy, but right now all I want to do is lay on my bed. I cried earlier today, not in front of her, I didn’t want her to see me crying. I’m trying to fight this depression, I’ve always been a fighter. I turned to my daughters mom for support, her words do help me cause deep down inside she’s a good soul. I don’t like feeling like this. I fight hard, for me and my little girl who is my world. Blessings to everyone. Samson

[Megglerock]

I know days where you wake up feeling so sad. I’ve done it for years. I understand youredaughter is a solace, but it can sometimes put a lot of pressure on them to console you and feel as if they are the parent in dire times. At least, that’s what I’ve read. I’m not saying you are doing any of that! Just rambling.

Anyhow, it is good you are reaching out, being alone with these thoughts can be detrimental and definitely make you feel sorry and alone, along with many other feelings. It is okay to cry and miss your daughter and friend. There’s nothing wrong with feeling this. However, we must realize that life doesn’t stop and we have to lift our head up and find the joy.

Something to negate these feelings may be to think of your daughter as having fun! She will be with good people, she will have a good time, and soon, she will be back with you. Take this time for self care? Perhaps do something you don’t get to do, bath or shop or just binge a show!

Remember your self worth, you are a good parent and love your daughter. These what if scenarios, they’re cognitive distortions. If I may, what are these what ifs you speak of? Perhaps I could be of some reprieve and talk you through it.

All the best, you’re going to get through this!

[Strongest123 in reply to Megglerock]

Hello and thank you for reaching out. I’ve been battling this depression for quite sometime. It started a few years ago and I thought it would just go away. I’ve had OCD ever since childhood and I’ve been seeing Drs for the OCD for years. The depression I noticed started around the time I got seperated from my ex wife. It was a tough period in my life, I had just become a father. My daughter was barely 2 when I seperated from her mom. I became disabled back in Oct 2016. My dad had become ill right around the time I seperated from my ex wife. He then passed in July of 2015. Anyways to make a long story short I tried to go back to work back in February but the company Drs deemed me unfit to come back due to my depression. I’m waiting to see a judge for my Social Security disability in December. It’s been a rough rough ride. Samson