I’m angry ALL the time...

[Angry101]

I’m new here , I’m 58 years old and female. I have tried to commit suicide but it was a know go. I’m on about 12 different meds. I’m angry about everything and everybody. I’ve been in my bedroom for 9 years except for doctors app. Will someone talk to me please.

[Hidden]

Hi Angry101 What are you angry about?

[Angry101 in reply to Hidden]

I really don’t know. I just know that I want everything to be perfect. It’s like I have given up on everything. My faith has always been so important in my life,but now I just don’t care. I can’t even pray anymore. Everything that I loved is gone. I was a chef, glass artist, and glass designer. I think if I try I will just tear everything up. I broke an entire set of china over a omelette because it wasn’t perfect.

[Hidden in reply to Angry101]

Are you receiving help for this? If so what feedback do you get from them?

[Angry101 in reply to Hidden]

I’m going to a psychiatrist and have been for over 25 years. At first I was doing great and the meds helped. All this darkness and anger has just happened over the past two months. I have another appointment next Tuesday.

[Hidden in reply to Angry101]

You may also want to get your hormones checked as well as thyroid function.

[Angry101 in reply to Hidden]

Haven’t even thought about that. I will mention that to my doctor Tuesday. Thanks for taking to me.

[Hidden in reply to Angry101]

You said you have been in your bedroom for nine years, so did you leave it to do other things? I am glad you have an appointment Tuesday.

Without understanding much I think perfection is sometimes due to OCD or other anxieties, it could be something else like strict expectations for yourself. I used to try to be kinda perfect, and I make handmade jewelry and I do other creative things and they never turn out perfect but it is ok with me, I wonder why it isn't ok for you to be just ok? What do you think?

[Angry101 in reply to Hidden]

No I don’t leave my room unless I have an appointment. I was going to church once on Sunday morning. But something has changed.

[Hidden in reply to Angry101]

Well I don't know why you are angry but maybe you have a good reason! Or maybe you think you have to be perfect but you don't. You are a good person being ok. I hope you realize that. I never met a perfect person and guess what I think it is more fun not to be perfect! I hope you know you can talk to us anytime. It's sometimes hard to say it all at once. Just let it come when you are ready. Peace and a good evening to you

[ashtonbeavers]

if you need someone to talk to, you can talk to me. i’m always open to listen to people. i know what you’ve been through. i’ve tried to kill my self too. all i do is stay in my room. if you ever need to talk though, like i said. i’m here <3

[Angry101 in reply to ashtonbeavers]

I never have people over so I don’t talk much. When I tried to commit suicide I was in a coma for a month. They said I wouldn’t make it. I just don’t know what’s happening now. Thanks for listening.

[ashtonbeavers in reply to Angry101]

you’re certainly welcome. when i tried to kill my self, they told me that my heart could get so big that’d i could die so i have to get checkups every months for it. and i don’t talk to people either. i just think if i shut out the world it’ll help me, but it doesn’t help that much. you just need someone to talk to and listen to you. so if you need me , you can talk to me. you can even have my number if you like. but i’m here for you <3

[Angry101 in reply to ashtonbeavers]

Thanks so much

[ashtonbeavers in reply to Angry101]

you’re welcome !

[Angry101 in reply to ashtonbeavers]

Just woke up and decided to say hi. I try to sleep as much as I can so I don’t have to think about anything. I’m awake about 4 hours a day. I hope you have had a good day.

[ashtonbeavers in reply to Angry101]

you too! and yeah same. but i had dhs come to the house today, so i had to get up. but thankyou for texting me! hope you have an amazing rest of the night !

[Angry101 in reply to ashtonbeavers]

Thank you very much. I sometimes get so depressed I can’t even get out of bed

[Hidden]

Hey Lady! Welcome to the room, I'm your part-time class clown and full-blown loony. You are among friends, of a sort. Boy what an assortment we are. How much do I know about anger? A redhead with a German/Irish background diagnosed with anti-social personality, yeah we're old allies. Not friends, just working colleagues. I'd rather he not be around but what can I do, he's in this skull with me. Try to keep the meds balanced so he's not aroused. I have a bad habit of breaking stuff when I lose it. Whatever I'm holding is going against the wall as fast as I can throw it. Or the floor may do as well. Whatever will be obliterated. That's my release. They say it's not good. I said bye. Still dealing with it. Don't know if I can help but I'm in the boat with you, so let's say we start tossing stuff for the fun of it. Just not the Garmin.

[Angry101]

I agree