I’m down…

[FloydRamone]

I have been battling depression for 3-4 years now. I’m in a place where I hate my job, I don’t have any friends, I’m struggling financially, I’m overweight and just wonder what the point is of me being here. I’m not suicidal, I just don’t understand what my purpose is. I’m married to a wonderful woman, but I never want to bring her down talking about the same crap I go through day to day. I don’t know what to do. I haven’t seen any doctors, and I’d rather not be on any medication. I would like to beat this naturally if I can.

[gajh]

Hello and Welcome. This is a great place to talk to people who understand.

[worthytobeloved]

Sorry you are feeling this way. Depression is an awful thing. I understand you not wanting to go to a doctor or have medication, but maybe the right antidepressants could help. Also, it might help to talk to someone - preferably your wife, but maybe a counsellor. Good luck!

[Experiment1982739903]

I read somewhere that 80% of Americans hate their job so your experience is the overwhelming norm if you’re American. Life is just a big inconvenience for a lot of us ffs. It is nice to have a wonderful woman with you.

[blimpsgo180]

Sounds like you're in a wonderful position to start over. It's never to late to start new friendships. Maybe reach out to an old friend you haven't talked to in a while.

One of the ways I beat my depression "naturally" is diet and exercise. Eating more fruits and vegetables is shown to reduce depression symptoms, and aerobic exercise is just as effective as an antidepressant. Start with a fruit or vegetable you enjoy, maybe apples or carrots. Even just one more serving a day makes a difference in how you feel.

[CrowBoy]

I think the worst part must be being alone with this. If I didn’t have my wife to talk to about how I’m feeling I would be worse off than I am. There’s no reason for you to try and beat this yourself. There’s no shame in accepting help. We all need it, whether through connection with loved ones, therapy, or medication. I’m in favor of all of the above!

Just joining this group is a link to getting help, right? Knowing that there are people out there who suffer as you do, and they’re listening.

[FloydRamone in reply to CrowBoy]

Thank you so much! I’m trying, I just feel like I don’t want to bring anyone down by talking about my problems. So I just kind of bury it inside.

[Ryanlion]

Being in a job you hate will be adding to your depression. If you can, change your job and you will make new friends in a new job. Talk to your wife about how you feel, two heads are better than one. She might possibly know how you feel and is waiting for you to say something. Bottling things in and carrying on does not work for happiness.

[FloydRamone in reply to Ryanlion]

Thank you for your comments. I have thought of finding some other job, but I have 17 years in at my current job, and only have 9 more until I can retire. I feel like I’m stuck.

[Ryanlion in reply to FloydRamone]

Yes I understand that does make it difficult. Any chance they would give voluntary redundancy or early retirement. Just a thought. It is what I did when I became unwell.

[samsinger23]

Depression has a chemical and environmental components. You don't have to take medication in some cases but in your circumstances it sounds like you depressed mood has been going on for a very long period of time which suggests that medication might be need to address a chemical imbalance that is beyond your control. I suggest that you get started with things that you can do to improve your mood with medication but if a on medication approoach is unsuccessful then medication should be considered. The on medication approach involves establishing a therapeutic relationship with a licensed therapist who you feel comfortable talking to on a regular basis either online, my phone, or inperson. Focus on addressing issues that make you feel sad or unmotivated to enjoy life or perhaps experiences that you have not dealt with or tried to avoid. Explore your self esteem and experiences that have chipped away at your self confidence. Ask your therapist about Behavioral Activation activities that you can do to increase joy and happiness. Get moving with exercising for 120 minutes each week and started improving your diet. Nothing will change or improve until you begin to get involved to improve your life and happiness. Restore or build a support group or circle of friends who you can enjoy activities with as often as possible or find a hobby that makes you feel accomplished. Do things that once made you smile. Be willing to do whatever is necessary to feel better as long as you aren't hurting yourself or others. Enrich your life and remember that nothing will change until you do. Be willing to see a doctor and nutritionist to get started. Many insurance companies will allow you to see a nutritionist without out of pocket cost. Check for programs and services in your local area that can help to address your needs for little or no money. Remember, it all starts with you.

[Icare67 in reply to samsinger23]

I really appreciate your suggestions!One question when you advice to check services in your area for little or no cost, I would appreciate knowing what those may be titled. Like I have some family members who would benefit from seeing a therapist but it's no secret they just don't because of the cost, they can't afford it financially.

[samsinger23 in reply to Icare67]

Depending on where you live, there may be community organizations and/or community mental health organizations who offer low or no cost counseling services. In the community where I live, there are churches that offer mental health care and grief support groups to people who need services but don't have insurance. Also, some licensed mental health professionals offer sliding scale payment options where they will see patients based on what the patient can afford to pay rather than full price. Sometimes local churches offer confidential counseling services by licensed and qualified staff. Also, you could call the Department of Children and Families to see if they have a list of services or providers in your area. I don't know where you live or if you reside in the USA but I would suggest that you make some calls and ask questions by calling mental health providers or go to Google and do a search for mental health services using your zip code. As far as recreation and activities related to exercise, you can call your local parks and recreation department or go to their website.

[HisChild4ever]

I'm very sorry! Some of us have felt exactly the same ways as you and I want to congratulate you for reaching out. Depression cannot be overcome easily. Sometimes, a counselor or therapist is very necessary. Medications are also necessary in some cases. And, I believe that walking outside every day could help you a lot. But it's a problem when we are unable to engage in regular physical activity on our own. But I want to encourage you to do your best to help yourself. There are times when we have to force ourselves to socialize and to go spend time outdoors and move our bodies. I'm really sorry you suffer. I recommend to talk to a doctor about your symptoms and to consider meeting with a therapist for support and guidance.

[TexasRetired]

Hi Floyd -,There was a time when I had some of the same issues. I finally gave in and saw a doctor. For me, it worked out very good. I’ve been on medication for almost 10 years and it has certainly helped me. This may be an option for you and hear what suggestions the doctor has for you. I wish you the best.

[PadThaiNoodles]

Medication helped me immensely. I’m on escitalopram and lamotrigine.

It also meant I didn’t have any further issues when I had four more added after open heart surgery for a double valve job. 🎉