My husband is here 24/7 hating me, reminding me that I better get a border and a job as I am losing the house etc.. He has been starving us. He says we have no money and must sell books. He makes $82,000 but HIS lawyer is expensive. He calls her 'our 'lawyer. I don't know if anyone recalls but I have been through 30 years of abuse, broke my ankle, knee surgery, and ODed when he told me that he was taking all, including the boys, because I was unbalanced. I have poor health, and am also bipolar2 but soon...no insurance. If he deigns to fill out the paperwork, I can get COBRA for a thousand a month. He asserts how tough it will be for him. He wishes to be involved in the boys' ,(whom he hates and has seriously damaged,) lives once in a while. I was healing, I think, last week. Now, he is back home 24/7 with his toxic presence, yelling at me and threatening, scaring me with his edicts and future demands and predictions of my failing. I cannot survive with him here but when he leaves, so does his income. My eldest wishes to leave also. He stopped all his meds. He is now 21, Asperger and bipolar untreated. He is no longer affectionate. For his happiness and sanity, (I don't blame him,) he wishes to leave as I am so depressed. I cannot recall...phone calls to rejections and no answers, driving 1 hour both ways to a tech school...they were bullies and I was forced to stay for five humiliating hours. I left, under dissatisfaction, because I could not bear the place anymore. I started to apologize for existing again. Today, I canceled my son's and my physical therapy. Again, no sleep, crying...no shower for so long, I simply cannot bear anything.
It has been impossibly hard - Anxiety and Depre...
It has been impossibly hard
Oh my how sorry I am that you are going through this! Is there any shelters for abused women in your area, as what you are saying is abuse? I'm here for you, if I can help in any way please let me know! Hugs & love just for you!!! XXX
I cannot go. It is three to six days. I would destroy our home. The animals and boys are also not allowed.
However, I got rid off him. Strangely, for some odd reason, he has shown up and is doing chores whilst complaining about my idiocy.
Tell him to get out that you are able to things on your own, because you are strong! Stand up for you & your children, they will love you for doing that!!! Love & Hugs!! XXX
You are so right! I talked to my youngest son who told me how happy he was that I loved him and valued him. I have been focusing on my souse and more, my eldest son instead of valuing the priceless gift I have in my youngest.
Your husband is a bully. Period. It sounds like he is getting pleasure from bullying you- the mother of his children. He says he wants to be involved "once in a while", I understand you want to stay because of money- but please get some support from a women's group whatever is in your area. Also, I do not know if you have ever worked- but I understand that there are clubhouse programs for people who have had some mental health challenges and might need some training and employment. Plus, if your sons have special needs,I hope that they are able to get some monetary assistance. I hope you also have some other family/friends to offer support as well. It sounds like you do much better without your bully of a husband around.
Try to find a way out and away from him. The struggle will be worth it and your kids will appreciate you for getting away from his BS.
I like what pat_eve57 has said. If you will own the house- then I wonder if you can get a restraint order as he is abusive. I wonder also if you can speak to the judge who is allowing this behavior after the divorce? You mentioned that you have been abused by him for over thirty years which is a crying shame. You can start saying that you do not have to be a victim anymore. If he wanted the divorce so badly, is a bully and you say a pervert as well I hope you can catch him with this as this is illegal. I cannot give advice but I hope you can call the bar and see if there is a women's rights advocate as well as a mental health and special needs advocate to whom you can speak.
I found out it is in the 16th court. Yes, he is a pervert and a liar. I am attempting to stay as strong as I can. This is new to me and so, I try to be kinder to myself.
Oh, he just told me that without my having immediately job he cannot transfer the mortgage and car titles in my name.
I cannot give you advice of course- but I would talk to a lawyer or advocate about that. Also, he can continue to pay support, but he sure does not have to live there. Sounds like someone who should have been in a jail cell a long time ago!
Oh yes, he is a major scoundrel and a huge jerk! He is not here but he has already shown up...to do chores! (Actually, he wanted to whisper poisonous lies and threaten us but he left!) I stressed out and am super anxious and welting all over. I found another lawyer through the Texas Bar Association, I find out in three days hence if we get him/her. Then, I will never need to deal with him ever again!
I could put him in Federal prison but I will wait until we do not need the money or insurance. Then...
Found the correct letter...
Robert,
I do not believe there can be any cordial relations between you nor myself, or indeed, the children you abandoned. Your reasoning is exceedingly selfish and flawed.
You must be lying not only to society but yourself to be able to abandon so easily your duties as a husband, friend, and father.
You have allowed yourself to be callous and self-serving. This is not a sudden change either. Divorce is simply the icing on the cake. For years, you have made us, including the animals afraid of your violent and cruel temperament. The boys, you do not know, as they have attempted to present whatever you wanted. Oh yes, so very happy and blithe! Not so. When you would go on a trip they would put down the personas that they wore. What I saw was damaged and ignored, even neglected children and now, young men who ARE disabled. I, as well, attempted to placate your abusive temperament. I, as well, am considered disabled. The huge depression I had was mostly caused by a threat to my psyche. My very existence as a human being was constantly being questioned and threatened by you. I was the symptom of a very abusive relationship. The fear I carried of us being abandoned, the fear of whatever the future holds…well, it is being realized so I no longer need to hold onto the negative image you had for me…for the boys either.
Do you know what a Narcissist Psychopath is? Look in the mirror if you ever dare. So, YOU have been denied, have suffered?
Never, never have you been kind, compassionate, or supportive. Yes, you have been selfish, cruel…abusive. Look not only to me but your sons. YOU removed Tristan’s medications resulting in a complete psychotic break. Recall, you beat him up at 15. We have documentation and pictures. If Nicholas did not fit your, I mean your father’s image of what he should be, you attacked him.
Your ill action, lies, behavior…I have just realized this letter is a complete waste of time. Control someone else now.
Congratulations! You are officially an Haddock. You have realized your dream. You have become your father.
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