Anyone can help I have been trying to recover from depression and anxiety disorders since 12 years ago. I feel I improved whenever I'm in a positive healthy environment and people that give me love.
But I learn the hard way that I have been an emotional ly abusive partner to my boyfriend who has been supportive and encouraging to me. I feel frustrated angry shout at him and spell break up to release my frustration over the years but in reality I love him in spite of our differences and I call him back desperate ly for forgiveness and reconciliation in 1-3 days. My problems with him is his gaming addiction and no time for me. He rather play game or hang out with his gaming Friends than with me. I know I'm a negative force around him and we don't have much in common. But we love each other.
My depression and anxiety drove him away once we become familiar with each other. I'm always feeling sad and longing to be by his side. I feel loved this way but he said I'm too clingy and no life other than him. Is true. I enjoy his company than with anyone else. I feel sad he don't feel the same way that's why I always demand his time and fight a place with his friends.
Now he told me he had enough. He said he feel suffering with me. He ignore my text and call for 2 months already. Unless I call non stop he will only pick up to say he is busy and will get back to me but never did. He started talk to me coldly and don't care attitude. I know he is currently spending be all his time gaming with his friends after work. I ask for reconciliation but he said he don't know. He said he lose heart already. Too much arguing the same issue over the years. He fed up. I feel so sad and lonely now. I feel suicidal whenever he neglected me. Now he want to leave me permanently I feel even more suicidal.
I can't imagine the future without him. I feel suffering and regret to let my negative emotions burdened him. He treat me very good and loving but I disappointed him with my non stop depressed emotions and panic attack.
I try to heal but it's always got its up and down time. Unstable and immature emotions. I feel regret we are in this situation now.
How to overcome my depression and anxiety disorders effectively or keep it at bay? I'm pulling everyone down. I feel I'm not fit to live...