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Ontheroadtorecovery profile image


Anyone can help I have been trying to recover from depression and anxiety disorders since 12 years ago. I feel I improved whenever I'm in a positive healthy environment and people that give me love.

But I learn the hard way that I have been an emotional ly abusive partner to my boyfriend who has been supportive and encouraging to me. I feel frustrated angry shout at him and spell break up to release my frustration over the years but in reality I love him in spite of our differences and I call him back desperate ly for forgiveness and reconciliation in 1-3 days. My problems with him is his gaming addiction and no time for me. He rather play game or hang out with his gaming Friends than with me. I know I'm a negative force around him and we don't have much in common. But we love each other.

My depression and anxiety drove him away once we become familiar with each other. I'm always feeling sad and longing to be by his side. I feel loved this way but he said I'm too clingy and no life other than him. Is true. I enjoy his company than with anyone else. I feel sad he don't feel the same way that's why I always demand his time and fight a place with his friends.

Now he told me he had enough. He said he feel suffering with me. He ignore my text and call for 2 months already. Unless I call non stop he will only pick up to say he is busy and will get back to me but never did. He started talk to me coldly and don't care attitude. I know he is currently spending be all his time gaming with his friends after work. I ask for reconciliation but he said he don't know. He said he lose heart already. Too much arguing the same issue over the years. He fed up. I feel so sad and lonely now. I feel suicidal whenever he neglected me. Now he want to leave me permanently I feel even more suicidal.

I can't imagine the future without him. I feel suffering and regret to let my negative emotions burdened him. He treat me very good and loving but I disappointed him with my non stop depressed emotions and panic attack.

I try to heal but it's always got its up and down time. Unstable and immature emotions. I feel regret we are in this situation now.

How to overcome my depression and anxiety disorders effectively or keep it at bay? I'm pulling everyone down. I feel I'm not fit to live...

6 Replies

Hi Ontheroadtorecovery,

You're not alone in this. I am also in my road to recovery and I have learned a lot on getting better. Eight hours of sleep has helped me a lot because you wake up with enough energy and it can bring positive moods. Lack of sleep often leads to negative moods and can lead to being depressed. Getting counseling or psychotheraphy can be very helpful because there are people that are trained in helping people like us to overcome depression. Pouring your emotions out to a professional and being helped on what to do greatly helped me as well. I use exercise as one of my major coping methods as I run everyday for 4+ miles. Any form of exercise can get rid of bad chemicals in your brain and it's like having your soul cleansed from bad emotions. Exercising everyday even for a little bit can really help! If you are not a fan of running, you can try walking, hiking, biking, or doing yoga. There are many that you can do. I hope my advice helps and please know that you can get through this. Open your eyes to new things. Travel if you can. There's always sunshine after a storm!

Ontheroadtorecovery profile image
Ontheroadtorecovery in reply to

Thank you therunning girl!

Yes exercise really help boost my mood and fill my time doing healthy lifestyle. Currently I got start walking for 30minutes a day. It really help alot. All your suggestions really appreciate it and I will try seek professional counseling services as I never tried before. Thanks for the useful information 😁 wish you happy and healthy always 😘

in reply to Ontheroadtorecovery

I am very happy to hear that exercise is helping you as it is for me too! I’m very glad to be able to help and I hope it all goes well. Sending much love and hugs to you. ❤️🤗

You are not alone. I’m new to this group too. Depression and anxiety warp reality. I’ve had failed friendships and relationships because of it. Your needs were not being met in your relationship. Yes, dealing with depression and anxiety makes our needs a little more intense and tricky at times but your needs are still important and need validating. Don’t feel guilty or beat yourself up for your blow ups. You are trying to manage a flood of negative emotions all on your own and just crying out for comfort and reassurance. I really don’t know you or your specific situation, but I can totally relate to what you are saying and I can hear that nagging guilt and self doubt you are consumed with. I know it doesn’t feel like it at the moment, but you are strong enough and beautiful enough to survive this without a boyfriend. The right guy will come along when you feel healthier. I found my right guy 7 years ago after many miserable experiences with relationships, depression, and anxiety. I still struggle and am going thru bad bout of anxiety right now, but together we can help each other out and support each other. Hang in there.

Sorry you're having a hard time. I understand how you are feeling. I had to learn, the hard way, that before I could have a good relationship with someone else, I had to work on my own mental and emotional health. I realized that it was unfair for me to expect another human being to fill all my emotional needs and make me happy. That is a lot of responsibility on another person.

The best relationships are with two emotionally healthy people who are not putting demands on each other. It doesn't sound like your boyfriend is willing to work on himself or the relationship.

I read a book called Happiness is a Choice by Frank Minirth. It was very helpful to me and I think it would be very helpful to you also.

Please know that you are a beautiful, valuable person created by God and that you deserve to have a happy life with someone who will love you and cherish you. And please don't waste your time chasing after men who aren't willing to invest in a relationship with you. Good relationships take work, but they are worth it in the end.

You may also like the book Happy Women Live Better by Valorie Burton.

I have heard that counseling is helpful, but it didn't work for me. The counselors wanted to go over and over things I'd already dealt with but not more recent events. I felt my insight into myself was not relevant. I became more depressed with each appointment. The only thing that helped me was going to a facility that kept me with a like group 24/7. With the help of a psychiatrist I learned several important things. 1) Make a list of the things that cause problems for you. Divide the list into two groups: those things YOU CAN'T change, and those you can. This helped me let go of trying to fix things I can't, and concentrate on those I can change or make somewhat better. For instance, I can't change the fact we had a wild fire. I can't change the fact that my husband has severe pain from an injury, but I CAN go with him to the doctors, and join in his exercises. I can change the way I approach housework, especially by not looking at the big picture, dealing with a portion at a time. For this, I make a list each evening of one or two tasks I can complete the next day. If I can do other tasks, I put them on the same page under 'Victories'. My goal is to create more complex task lists as I go, being sure to maintain those areas I've already dealt with.

(2) regressing is not failure.

I can't recommend this kind of facility strongly enough. I've learned that many times suicidal thoughts and, especially, actions, need help immediately. With some kind of professional help, depression may lessen just enough for you to seek a group lead by a professional. If you are suicidal, immediate help is crucial. Ask. Please.

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