Bad news

[Lynseyhot]

I been told last night that person who abused me as child has died I was in middle of reporting it try get closer now that he has died feel he has got away from it left all for me deal with

[Hidden]

Oh no he didn't get away with it! You have to tell yourself it was him & not you that asked for it! I can totally relate to being abused..it's now time for you to move forward & make the best for you!!! Wishing you peace! Love & Hugs!!! XXX

[fauxartist]

I wanted to share this with you....;

If the person who abused you dies, you get to speak ill of them. You get to speak the truth about what they did to you, what pain they caused you, and how it changed you.

When you find out that the person who abused you has died, you may feel relief that they are dead.

Death has a way of triggering deep-seeded, long forgotten memories that your brain retains.

This is about the tangible pain and recall of horrific events you experienced as the victim of abuse.

You need to talk about it, though, because when that phone rang to tell you that your abuser has died, you can suddenly find yourself back in the moment as the child who was abused, or the victim who was raped. You need to know what this death can trigger, and how to cope in those first moments, days, weeks.

This person can no longer hurt you or anyone else.The abuser is gone from this earth.

*most importantly, you are not alone, and if you don't have a therapist to work through these feelings...it's a really good idea to try and find either a group therapy or a good therapist you feel comfortable with that you can open up to and who understands.

I am glad your sharing here....it's safe for you here...many of us, including myself are survivors....and had to become warriors to fight back and try and regain who we are meant to be....

[Hidden]

Great advice here for you Lynseyhot! I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your past trauma, subsequent suffering and present struggle. Your tormentor’s death will hopefully turn out to be a positive thing for you. Thinking positive thoughts for you...

[Aspergirl47]

Hey....Look after yourself both mentally and physically as this can be a difficult time for you ...even though you know the abuser is no longer here....you were in the middle of reporting this guy when he died...Can I just say that you were brave and strong ....a lot of people never find the strength to go through with reporting their abuser....me included and it makes me feel weak ...knowing that I couldn't face the whole process....He is gone now and you are still here....A survivor as fauxartist stated.....try to keep that in mind ...Sending love...

[gerg]

I think that this is a good type of closure. It can be if you choose to view it as such.

I too suffered abuse, and I found that exposure of the abuse was a big step in closure. Once I spoke about the abuse I began to process it and leave it behind. I found out that my shame and fear were bound by the secrecy that I provided. I think that it works similarly for the abuser. As long as the abuser hides the abuse, he/she carries the shame and fear. Your abuser carried it into eternity.

These are only my views and you can reject them as you see fit. I want you to know that I care about you and I want you to feel the closure that you deserve.