Miss my old me

[MandyBueno]

That's my old me. Confident, fearless and straight forward. What the hell happened? I can't Just seem to find me among this mess.

[01harley]

Trust me your in there. You look young and pretty. You can beat this thing if your really willing to fight for you

I don't know if u see a therapist or on medication, but I know anxiety tries to take a person over in the morning and when your alone. That's when u fight. Do something even if you're afraid. Clean house clean your room. Listen to favorite upbeat music. Don't let your mind think. Fight fight hard !!

[Grimreaper]

Mandybueno

Sometime looking back at yourself is all it takes to pull out yourself from the mess ..

believe me , you are the same person , more grown up and mature , it’s just your mind is not allowing you to figure it out ..

those chemicals keep telling you that you are not the same person you were once ..

for Time being , close your eyes , remember your past .. the moments of happiness, joy and fighting spirit you had ...

feel them ... let them make you smile 😊 .. let Time make you motivate ..

remember your childhood you spent with your parents , siblings and friends .. those hide and seek games , running in the part , in rain ... looking forward to next day .. it’s all there today as well .. just you need to put the first step ..

[Agora1]

MandyBueno, I could tell you that the "old you" is still there but until you believe it, it will stay buried deep inside you. It is your "spirit" that is gone. I just finished reading all your posts right down to the first one. I find in doing that I either see a pattern repeated over and over or I see a progression of change going on. With you, I saw someone hopeful that medication would be the answer in lifting you up. Then it made a negative impact on your life and the zombie like feeling you were experiencing, you stopped.

I am not a psychologist by any means but have been in many similar situations in my own life. I have a sensitive question to ask you and maybe you may choose not to answer it and that's okay. You mentioned in your posts that you had several losses recently. When was the last time you were able to talk with someone like you did with your grandfather? I think the bond you had, his wisdom and understanding you were the glue that kept you together. Since his passing you feel this loss but don't know how to express it except in pushing away people, doing self harming things and getting lost in life's mundane ways.

After losing someone who was an important part of your life, it takes time to process that emptiness. It's too soon yet. Mandy is still there, stronger than ever but you have to give yourself a chance to heal, to recover from your losses. Don't allow people to take advantage of your weakness right now because it won't always be this way. Talking with a therapist may help immensely in allowing you to go on and succeed. Your grandfather will always be an important part of your life. He will always be guiding you with decisions you have to make. When you feel like you're falling apart, ask yourself, "What would grandpa have said to me"?

Mandy, I understand your hurt, your sorrow and where these feeling are coming from. You can overcome this and you WILL. Start working on the inner part of Mandy, the exterior is a given, you are a beautiful young woman. xx

[MandyBueno in reply to Agora1]

You are right. I haven't talked about my grandpa with anyone else, it is all bottled up inside. Meds do work for me, but it kills me to know that i'm only ok because of the meds. I Will fight for myself. Your message Just put me up

[Agora1 in reply to MandyBueno]

Stay that way Mandy. Your grandfather believed in you and loved you for who you were. Now it's time to love yourself. Believe and it will happen. xx

[Hidden]

I understand exactly how you feel and that’s exactly what I say” I miss the old me” I have to try and pretend I am someone else all the time to make people happy cause no one wants to be around a depressed person all the time

I have found that my medication has made things better and so has being on here cause the people are wonderful and so encouraging

Take one day at a time that is what I do

Will I ever be the old me I don’t know but I try to be a happy person and I work on it each and every day it’s hard work but you can get there

[Tedddy]

Girl I relate so much to this. I see pictures of myself from a few years ago and hardly recognize her. It's hard to comprehend how I got to this place. But a few traumas and worsened depression and anxiety will do it. I occasionally catch glimpses of her, the old me, when I look in the mirror or feel tiny moments of fearlessness. Maybe being confident and fearless looks different for you now. For me, fearless used to be hopping on a plane and flying across the world by myself. Now, fearless for me is showing up to work or opening up about my mental health issues. You are still you, and while all of this really sucks, you're still in there.