Need people to talk to that understand depression / anxiety instead of judging me for it.

[LK3399]

I am 25. I can’t afford to see a psychiatrist, even with insurance. I have been struggling with my depression completely alone since I was about 10 years old. My anxiety has only been a few years, but it’s always getting worse with each year. I have tried to talk to fam/friends about my issues but they always, always brush it off and act like I never said anything about it.... I’m just in a really bad place in my life and I’m really struggling with my depression lately. I don’t have anyone that really cares about my problems in my life. I don’t really have anyone in my life... I just need people to talk to who won’t minimize my problems because they have their own issues.

[Socially_Awkward_Sam]

I understand how you feel. It’s hard going through things and not being able to talk to anyone about it. I also suffer from anxiety and depression. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

[LK3399 in reply to Socially_Awkward_Sam]

Thank you. I know I'm not the only one suffering. It just sucks not having a support system that I can fall on when I'm going through dark times, ya know?

[Marshall64]

I googled depression support groups in my are and found a few. It is a group of people with mental health issue (mostly depression, anxiety, bipolar and schizophrenia). There are no professionals there but there is a lot of knowledge, compassion and support. You can share or just listen.

[AZ1970]

Anxiety is very hard. I live with it as well. Have you spoken to your primary care doctor? That is where I started and he was able to help for several years. I know family can be rough. They just don't get it.

[Elizabeth09]

You may feel alone but dont worry you are not alone. For the longest time I felt the same way. No one cares, theyre brushing it off. But what it was for me was that they just didnt understand. People without anxiety dont know the true panic and feelings that your going through. Try explaining to them what your feeling, send them a video to educate them. It honestly was my anxiety making me feel as if no one cared and brushed me off. Its the anxiety taking over making you feel lonely and unwanted. It gets better. You gotta push through the bad says to have good ones.

But in my case the reality was they just didnt understand the extent of how i was feeling. Once I was able to show them and educate them was when i started to feel supported. But your doing a great step by coming on here and talking about it! Its extremely brave! Hold on and dont forget there are people who love you.

[LK3399 in reply to Elizabeth09]

Thank you for sharing. For me, it's more of the depression side that's isolated me from other people. I have tried so many times to talk to my sister about it, but she doesn't acknowledge that my issues are real because a lot of those feeling stem from the way I grew up and the lack of parental care. She's really close with my mom, but my mom treated me like absolute garbage so my sister just doesn't want to believe that our mom could do that. Then with friends I have tried to explain my feelings and they always seem to act like their problems are so much worse. Whatever I give to them in terms of support or advice is never reciprocated. So I distance myself because they can't be bothered. Then when I've tried to talk about my anxiety, they just tell me I'm "overreacting" or to "just get over it."

I think a lot of it is just the ugly stigma on mental health issues that scares people when they actually meet someone who's experiencing them. But it's also hard to find people in real life who understand and WANT to talk about it. It's easier when you're online, but in your day-to-day there's almost a sense of shame for the way your brain is.

[Hidden]

Hi there. Do you have a high deductible to see a psychiatrist with your health insurance? If so, what about a regular doctor? Many of them will treat you for depression and anxiety. Can you afford to see a counselor? There might be sliding scale clinics that will charge you based on income or a government (county,state,etc) run clinic that might be more affordable. Sorry your family and friends aren't being supportive. There might be support groups in your area like someone else shared. What are you doing for self care to help manage symptoms? Exercise? Meditation? We're here to listen. Also on Pacifica there are chat rooms that are pretty good.

[Imakook]

Hi LK,

Boy do I ever get it! When you mentioned bad parenting & neglect I thought of a program dealing expressly with those issues.

ACOA or Adult Children of Alcoholics is a free program that helps you work through it all. It also applies to any other form of dysfunction, not just alcoholism.

I never thought to check into it until I was in crisis mode & exploring options. Because I had been in AA & Alanon for years, I ignored this one. I have a physical problem that I'm seeing doctors & therapists for, as well as a psychiatrist & a therapist for a plethora of mental issues.

So besides the physical issues, which were really intense & resulted in a very involved surgery, I had (for the first time ever!) explored what's wrong with me. I had always minimized my upbringing, but in actuality it was

filled with violence, alcoholism, mental illness & negativity. Daily, pretty much.

I think job stress (worked there 20 years) was a big contributor to the emergence of ADHD, anxiety & my anti-depressants quit working. I thought maybe it was Alzheimer's due to forgetfulness.

Here's what they determined:

Pseudo-dementia; Major depression - in full & partial remission; Moderate major depression; ADHD; Alcohol use disorder; Primary dysthymia; Mixed personality disorder; Generalized anxiety disorder.

Do shrinks get paid by disgnosis or something? Anybody know?

Those are all my current mental problems. Pseudo-dementia is not listed anymore.

Shame is a big problem because I always felt "less than". So, if you feel like you isolate from people, seek approval & lost identity, frightened by angry people & personal criticism, feel like a victim, concern yourself in others rather than look at own faults, addicted to excitement, feel guilty when standing up for self instead of give in to others, love people you can pity. Confuse love & pity,

stuffed feelings of trauma & lost ability to express feelings - it hurts

Yoo much, low self-esteem & judge yourself extremely harshly, dependent personality terrified of abandonment, react without thinking.

If you have several issues (or not) check out adultchildren.org

They're in every country.

It was good to see your post & btw-I see myself in almost every symptom. I shy away ftom meetings because I have so much on my plate & ACOA gets so heavy, but I decided to work on it at home. I bought their Big Red Book & the yellow workbook & at least read from the book as I can.

Take care- sorry I went on so horribly long!

[nightingale1977]

Hi LK, thank you for sharing and I’m sorry that your family members reacted that way. I’m guessing but I have a feeling that your family may not know how to respond towards your condition. Yes, stigma and all surrounded mental health issues for centuries but I have to say that as more and more people are opening up more on their mental health issues, there is a level of awareness in the society these days. Have you try Churches?? SOme Churches do offer free counselling or at least charges at a minimal cost. Why not try them out? Keeping you in my prayer. GOd bless!