What would you do? -ft. the stages-

[lauraeissa]

Sometimes, you meet these people in your life that you feel attached to. As if destiny decided to tie the knots between these two souls. You try to give all that you have thought it's never enough. No matter what you do, they are never satisfied. Don't get me wrong, they love you, though they just put too much stress on you convincing you that your input into the relationship isn't equal to their input. This relationship can be between a mother and a daughter, two lovebirds, two siblings, a father and a son, or even your grandmother and her best friends. This puts you in the BLAME STAGE, where you feel like shit and run out of energy to give more. Then you move to the CRYING STAGE where you wish your tears can wipe away the pain you feel. That haunting feeling of not being enough and not being able to make people love your true self. Then you get to pick the stage you want to be at next, and in this case, you can be at the NO FUCKS GIVEN STAGE or the I NEED TO FAKE MY PERSONALITY TO BE SEEN AS GOOD ENOUGH STAGE. NO FUCKS GIVEN STAGE consisted of you knowing the efforts and time you've put into a relationship. Knowing that you did everything you could have done and that this is the peaking point of your abilities. I NEED TO FAKE MY PERSONALITY TO BE SEEN AS GOOD ENOUGH STAGE consists of you changing yourself to be good enough for that other person, even if that would make you lose confidence when present in your own skin.

[Fishinjay]

I'm there too. You're not alone. How do you tell the people you love about this feeling of helplessness? I don't know the answer but I'm trying to figure it out too. I think there are a lot of us in this place. On the surface I'm very successful, good career and well respected outside of my personal relationships. I totally get this feeling of not being enough to the people I love.

[AZ1970]

I don’t know your entire situation, but someone who truly loves you will accept you for who you are and won’t expect you to be someone you aren’t. It sounds as if this other person expects you to meet a need in a broken part of themselves. You will never be able to do that. Please give yourself permission to be you. Don’t sacrifice your true self to make someone else happy. It doesn’t work.