Is this audacity and brutality?

[Against_the_current]

Sorry, I didn't want to type it again. I don't even have energy to copy paste

[litethatnevergoesout]

only dismay comes from looking to others to help make us feel better about ourselves. one of the most difficult things to do for a lot of people is become the source of our own strength. some people have talents in getting what they want from others to make themselves feel better and the lucky ones are able to do it on their own. I’ve always heard that nobody likes people that are needy, which is harsh, and I’m not saying you’re needy. you were looking for sympathy and reassurance and got insensitivity in return. it hurts.

[Against_the_current in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

It hurts. I was really not like that but i got attachment issues from my parents triggered

[litethatnevergoesout in reply to Against_the_current]

I can totally understand that. it’s not your fault and there’s nothing wrong with you for not wanting to be abandoned

[CLB1125]

Im so sorry for you. This guy is a jerk. He is a cruel person who you don’t need around to hurt you. Concentrate on yourself instead. Read about gastritis and how you can make improvements in yourself to heal. Work on making yourself the best you can be. There’s a whole wide web out there to help you, learn to not let your mother’s abuse hurt you. To help yourself when you are having anxiety, to calm yourself. Take control of your life. Physically and mentally.

[Against_the_current in reply to CLB1125]

Idk if i can manage so much but he's cruel and i needed to hear that

[CLB1125 in reply to Against_the_current]

Start small. Maybe look up breathing to calm down your anxiety. There are lots of videos to help you learn how to do this. There are websites for people who have a person with alcohol addiction. AlAnon is a great one. You may learn some coping techniques. These are small things you can do for yourself.

[Against_the_current in reply to CLB1125]

I get random burts of missing my ex. Some romantic song was playing and all my face got numb

[CLB1125 in reply to Against_the_current]

It’s understandable that you will hurt for him since you have feelings for him. But just tell yourself how he made you feel with his mean words. My first marriage ended in 1980. I still think of him sometimes when I see something that reminds me of him. There are still feelings. But he was an abusive alcoholic and our marriage was doomed. I still think about the what ifs..

[Williams3lw]

I am a friend here if you need to talk anything. Just let me know what I can do. That is very hard to overcome but you have us me this group. Your friend Mr.Williams

[Against_the_current in reply to Williams3lw]

Thank you Mr.Williams

[Cookie2217]

Don't believe anyone that calls you a Goddess. That is just a bullshit line men use on women. He seems very cruel and uncaring don't even contact him any longer. Don't waste your precious time on someone like that you know what I mean....

[Against_the_current in reply to Cookie2217]

Oh it's such a weakness to be called like that. Why do they give us fake hopes and promise they adore us if they don't

[Cookie2217]

I honesty don't know but I do know how awful it feels to be broken up with by a first love and it's extremely excruciating and painful. I'm here if you want to talk. I am here to also say that I found the love of my life in 2004 and we've been together for 20 years and married for 18 years very happily. What I'm trying to get at is that you will also meet someone in your future because it is bright. I'm so happy to hear that you're still in school what are you learning and taking up as a major? I took up psychology and learned a lot about my struggles, my depression and so much more just from listening to my professors. I hope that you enjoy school. Please make the most out of your experience there as we only go around once and we need to make it count. Wishing you peace and well-being.

[Tracey0101]

That's very tough and so difficult for you bless you so much sending love and hugs to you ❤️

[Against_the_current in reply to Tracey0101]

Thank you, i need them

[MaggieSylvie]

Clearly, this is not a romantic relationship that could be turned into a friendship. This man sounds really uncaring, and you surely don't want a relationship with someone who doesn't care about you. You must accept the fact that you have been treated extremely badly and this will sting you for some time. But if you are strong, it will pass. He wasn't the man for you.

You must look after your health and your emotional health as well, now and grow into the sort of person that doesn't allow people like this to get too close to you. How about some self-talk now -

"I am the sort of person who can recognise cruelty in another person"

"I am the sort of person who won't allow anyone to turn me into a doormat".

"I am the sort of person who can shut down bad behaviour immediately".

"I am the sort of person who takes their time at the start of a relationship" and so on. You can fill in your own gaps. If you have a female role model thinking about them can help.

If you were to get back together, what do you think would happen next? Is that a good question?

[Against_the_current in reply to MaggieSylvie]

That's genius! Thank you. I think i let this behaviour because my own family treats me like a doormat. Especially my mom. She has psychopathic thendencies and just thinks i do nothing and am worthless. Also he was treating me nice, i needed him to distract from mom, he was calling me goddess, princess, supermodel, talked so sweet to me,, listened to me talk about mom and tried to help me

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Against_the_current]

You were lucky to have someone make you feel good when you were being door-matted. But it was temporary. Now, you have to start a new chapter. You are no longer the girl whose boundaries were being continually breached. You will met other people who will fill that gap, mercifully, without expecting anything in return - IF you are careful who you talk to.

[Tracey0101]

I had 2 doomed marriages that has been broken and I have just starting my carer doing the forms for my divorce and it hurts badly because I have a child in this marriage who has autism and adhd and learning disabilities and global development delay etc and I got mentally ill a for a few months in it and I got to my limits I could no longer take care of my son and then his dad said a week before my 50th birthday on 2020 that he wasn't going to take care of my son he wasn't doing a very good job with my son at all he was also a alcoholic and I lost my family unit including my son and our family cat and a break up with my husband too. I glad I made the right decision to ask him to leave my home and it was just awful and my son needed help and support but my ex he didn't want to admit anything was a struggling with my son because he decided that he would do it his way and not how it should be done he thought that I was doing parenting my own way but I wasn't doing it my own way I was doing it like most mums were taking care of their children doing their best and my husband was going against me in the parenting role but he wouldn't listen to me about anything that I needed to show him or talk to him about certain issues in his parenting while my son was either at school or asleep or ag his groups he just kept making excuses about he just gone to school or he's just gone to bed or I hot tk do this or that and I got yo tidy up this you didn't clean it yesterday or days before why now when I want to talk to you because its about our son you decide to do something else that doesn't really need doing but you decide to do it now when I ask you I want to talk to you because I am concerned about my son how you are parenting my child you know what you have done wrong with my son that's why you are delaying me to take time to talk to me about my son you are not interested in my son as you would be willing to sort it like an adult between us both. It's one sided me having to do it and he don't want to take responsibility for how he taken care of my son. I didn't really want him taking care of my son anymore and I am disabled in a wheelchair some son he went into foster care in 2020 and I told my son's social worker everything about his dad and how he treated me and my son and I protected my son and how my son looked after me at such a very young age my son would just help me in every way he could even at a 1 year old he wants to take care of me when he grows up he said when he is old enough he wants to come and live with me and take care of me even though I said that it's not his job to take care of me but he thinks it's his job to protect me from anyone who wants to hurt me he said when he is old enough he will protect me from anyone who wants to hurt me and he even said to his dad leave my mummy alone she's my mummy not yours and I will not let you hurt my mummy and he sat on my lap comforting me and stroke my face and hair saying it will be OK mum don't worry about dad I will not let him hurt you when my son said this even at 4 and 6yrs old and at younger age and a bit older age he didn't know what to say he kept quiet as quick as switch as a switch it told him. My son said you are my mum and I will not let my dad or anyone hurt you mum I will make sure you are OK. I need to take care of you mum. He is now 14yrs and he is still a lovely sweetheart lad and still takes my carer job and he takes care of me instead of my carer and she just leaves him to it as he will just say its his job taking care of my mum not theirs while he is with me. He just knows what he needs to help me with and what I have need help and support in bless his lovely soul and its unconditional love in action the acts of love are true outside appearance and not left inside him but showing out in the open not hiding it but everyone that seen us could see it as its not unwavering love kept in a closet place and not letting others see it.

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Tracey0101]

You have really been through the mill, Tracey, haven't you. Being disabled make everything in life so much harder, but it is clear that you did everything right. Especially with your son. It is so good you have those memories of him saying he will take care of you. I haven't experienced mother's love, but I can imagine it trumps romantic love any day.

[Against_the_current in reply to Tracey0101]

You're a good mom. My dad helps with us and mom's still a b*,tch