Crying

[ela03]

I just got home from an appointment with my psychiatrist. she upped my dosage of prozac and she told me that it'll be another month before I feel significantly better. I just got really sad when the pharmacist handed me the giant bottle of pills, I didn't even know pill bottles came in that size.. I was proud of myself cuz I drove on the freeway for the very first time (about an hour drive) but then my dad kept pointing out every single little mistake I made and I just felt worse and worse as I got closer to my house.. I just plopped into bed and now my eyes are all swollen and red.. I guess this is what depression is. I just want to feel like a normal person again, where I can be happy and not blow things out of proportion,

[Marshall64]

Try not to beat yourself up. Your dad may not be aware that he was being negative.

Things will get better.

[dee_bells]

Hi ela03, I agree don’t beat yourself up. Yes, they make Huge pill bottles, I know. I picked up my prescriptions today and I take 6 plus vitamin b and d. I’m ok with taking pills cuz they help me. Something is not working in my brain and I realize that. For me it’s a lifetime commitment and I’m guessing I’m older than you.

I would gently tell your dad when in the car, please don’t do that and thank you for stopping.

I had an anxiety attack a few years back when I was driving my mom to a doctors appt and my mentally disabled sister was also in the car. There was an “event “ my mom mentioned, I was driving, sobbing, my voice was shaking and I could barely breathe. I managed to drive but in that moment I said to my mom and referenced by pointing to my self “this is an anxiety attack.” I wanted her to know what she said upset me.

My point is—I wanted her to know how her words affected me and she apologized. I guess it was my choice to have an anxiety attack. I can’t control them except take an anxiety pill.

Also, we all take things differently. My adult son will let his boss criticize him to his face and let it roll off his back. Me, I’d probably tell him to go screw himself and get fired.

Some of the most powerful words you can say to someone is “I feel . . .” because no one can take your feelings from you. Cheer up and take care.

[melbrown]

Sending you hugs... I know it's tough... trying to find the right meds & dosage is so difficult. You should be proud of being able to drive home after... it's hard for me to do stuff after therapy when it's a tough secession. I'm sure your dad wasn't aware how he was making you feel. Hope you see sunny days soon.

[ela03]

thank you all for responding, it makes me feel a whole lot better. I was able to talk to my dad about the entire things and why it was just a hard day for me. He's starting to understand me a little bit better.. thanks for helping me cheer up. I just need to remind myself that this isn't my fault and to take it one day at a time

[Marshall64 in reply to ela03]

That is good that you talked to your dad. I'm a parent and I want to know if I said something to upset my daughter. She is only 12 and we have a pretty good relationship.

Parents aren't perfect. We make a lot of mistakes. My worst one is that I may obsess about something somebody said to me that was negative. I'll hold it in but then my daughter will do something that wasn't really serious and then she becomes the target of what was bothering me from before. I have had to apologise to her and explain the situation. I'm not saying that is what is happening between you and your dad but I was just giving an example of where he may have had a hard day and took it out on you without realizing it. Keep the communication open with your parents.

As far as the pill bottle size, for me it is how many bottles I get. All the staff at Walgreens know my name. That is not a good sign. 😊

[Hidden]

Hi!

I have been searching for that elusive balance my whole life and have discovered that I simply have to accept what is and adapt. We’re always changing and hopefully growing with each difficulty. Don’t dwell on being normal and make the best out of the hand you’ve been dealt! Embrace who you are right now and shine! You can do this! Try to let your Dad’s comments roll off your back and live in the truth about yourself. You know how to drive! Congratulations on driving on the freeway! It’s the little things that are big...you’re correct in being proud of yourself! Don’t be too hard on yourself. I hope you have a great day!!

[Tedddy in reply to Hidden]

I LOVE THIS COMMENT! The moment you let go of what you think "normal" is, and accept and adapt to what YOUR NORMAL is, it all becomes easier. Easier to accept and love yourself, easier to take your medications, easier to find balance. And YES, she's right, driving on the freeway is huge! Be proud of yourself and your small victories.

[Hidden in reply to Tedddy]

Yes! That’s what it’s all about...taking baby steps to achieve those small victories one at a time, one day at a time!

[fauxartist]

I'm sorry you’re so sad with this disease many of us have too, and it's not your fault, it's chemical....but if your dosage does make you feel a bit better, than it's worth it. You may want to talk to your dad about being so critical....especially when you’re trying to concentrate on driving. Just remind him you managed to get him home okay, so you must be doing something right...and you would appreciate being told that too, and save the criticism for later, or not at all would be better.

[Tedddy]

Sorry you're feeling this way. Your psychiatrist is right, it might take a few weeks to feel the full effects of the medication, but I promise that if you push through the discomfort, finding the right medication can help you feel like yourself again. There is no shame in taking medication for depression or anxiety-or anything else, for that matter. If your regular doctor prescribed a medication to help with a heart condition, you'd take it without question. It's the same with these types of medications. I struggled with accepting I am now a person who needs medications to get through the day, but now that I've been on them for a while, I take them proudly. If it helps drag me out of depression and feel more like myself, I am willing to do whatever it takes. You can feel better, I promise.

[fauxartist in reply to Tedddy]

exactly....I keep hearing how people are wanting to get off their SSRI's because it somehow taints them socially....the stigma of mental illness and having to take meds is a myth these days....it has to be....it's been too long the blame, and shame, and dimissing of those of us who are just wired a little different have had to endure for hundreds of years....

[Tedddy]

The best way to end the stigma is to talk about it, to normalize it! It's already normal for us haha, now it needs to be normal for everyone else.

[fauxartist]

I agree Teddyyyy...one way I think to do that is make it clear to everyone who suffers from depression is to stop thinking it is something you can control, or that it is your fault...this is just brain chemistry. People are simply wired this way. And if you take medication for it, stop making it about labels....it's like living with any other disease...we don't say we are dying from cancer....we are living with it....that's what a dear friend of mine told me how she viewed those precious years she had....living .... so too must we all who have been labeled....forget them....they are simply a tool to define what we need to do for treatment, but don't let labels define you. We are learning to 'live' with our disease.