Cancelling events to be alone

[GemBec]

I have cancelled almost every planned activity the last month. I managed to celebrate my birthday with my boyfriend with the help of Xanax. Every time I think of leaving my house to do an activity, something fun even, I just cant go. I cancelled my therapy appointment, my ladies day out, my eyebrow appointment and many others. I have an upcoming planned yard sale with my mom and the thought of having it is already giving me anxiety and it's not until the 30th. I dont know whats going on with me. I feel soon I may become a reclusive person. When I make the appointments or activity plans I feel I want to do them but as the date gets closer I have anxiety and even full blown panic. Why??? I'm not enjoying life right now and I'm so worried. Any suggestions?

[Marshall64]

I have been there. I have had to force myself in going to events. About a month ago I went to a trivia night with two couples. It sucks being the fifth wheel but I love trivia. I had already made the commitment (it was a school fundraiser) so I had to go. I'm glad I did because I had fun. It then made me think of how much stuff I am missing because of staying home.

You don't have to do a lot, but pick out some fun things with people that you are comfortable with. Maybe you could add a few more activities once you are comfortable.

[GemBec in reply to Marshall64]

Thank you I'm going to try it's just many days of anxiety for a few hours of fun. But you are correct I need to do some things to keep myself out. Thanks

[Marshall64 in reply to GemBec]

We grow when we step out of our comfort zones but anxiety does make it hard.

[Hidden]

I was agoraphobic for fourteen years. Trust me. You won’t overcome panic disorder with out exposing yourself to the situations that are causing your panic attacks. You need to desensitize yourself to them. It’s not easy. I can speak from personal experience. I no longer get panic attacks and I was completely homebound for a long time. I am not trying to sound mean or scare you. I wish some one told me before I wound up homebound. You need to set small goals. Goals that gradually expose you to the sensitized situations. You have to prove to your mind that all the scary self talk is unfounded.

[GemBec in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. I know you are correct. Every since I began working from home 6 years ago I have become more and more homebound. I do need to get out just wish the panic of doing so wasnt so intense. Thank you

[dayatatime2]

Hi GemBec I totally agree with the other posters that pushing through that fear and anxiety and following through with your plans and getting out is a huge step in getting over the anxiety of it all. I do the same thing with cancelling appointments etc and I have found that just going to them and showing myself that everything was just fine helps a lot. Maybe you can start with a few easy plans with people you trust and that know your struggle so you don't feel so venerable and feel safe. I think the more you expose yourself to uncomfortable situations the more confidence you will build. Praying for your courage and strength to step out and allow yourself to push through the anxiety. Isolation will only cause it to get worse <3

[GemBec in reply to dayatatime2]

Sorry for such a late response. Thank you for your knowledge on this subject and I know it is important to push through the bad thoughts and get out but small steps should be okay. I did manage to do the yard sale with my Mom because I knew she wouldn't be able to move all the items by herself. It went well and I did even enjoy it! Our minds can really play a big part in making something fun into something not so fun. So off I go to try more things before I become a stay in.

[dayatatime2 in reply to GemBec]

That's fantastic that you were able to do the yard sale!! I am celebrating that victory with you here You are so right, our minds can be made up either way - I am working hard on finding the silver lining in every situation. I don't know what your spiritual beliefs are, but for me knowing that God has a plan for my life and a purpose for all things (good and bad) helps me to push through and accept the painful and uncomfortable parts of life. I can't wait to hear more victories soon! Keep updating it's really encouraging!