I’m so depressed

[Depressedgurl123]

I just got back from a week vacation to my moms house and I’m back home now and I go back to work tomorrow. My living situation isn’t ideal and the thought of going back to my job is making me so depressed. I feel so hopeless. I wish I knew what to do. I can barely get out of bed. I’m just not happy and I can’t see anything positive out of my life even though it’s not that bad. My reality is terrible I suffer from extreme anxiety and depression and my vacation was a small escape from reality and now I’m back where I don’t want to be. How do I get through my life, I hate waking up in the morning. Nothing makes me happy.

[mdowning81]

Baby steps, that is the key. Small things and accomplishments add up. I'm not coming from a judgemental place but one of understanding and would like to help with some advice that has helped me. The first thing I noticed was your user name which tells me you are completely being identified by your feelings of depression. I know it sounds like a bunch of crap but by changing your name to something else and starting to identify as yourself not as your depression can help. I know I went through the same thing and was always saying that " I am depressed" then one day I realized no I am not, I may feel depressed but my identity was as a father, devoted husband, and a star wars nerd! This might not seem like much but it could be the small change that starts the ball rolling?? Try thinking of something you used to really enjoy before you started feeling this way and create a name based of that? Also I looks like your job also makes you feel depressed? I'm not going to tell you change jobs, that is what everyone tells me. Instead try thinking of a small hobby or interest you used to have that you've lost sometime during this, it could be something you used to do as a kid even, then make plan to start doing this again when you get home from work and no matter what make yourself do it, I know it might suck at first and you probably won't feel like it but eventually you will start to like it again. This can possibly have two benefits, maybe it gives you something to look forward while going through the bs of another day at work and if not at least it gives you something to d ok to take your mind of bvb th he crappy day you had at work. Myself, I started off doing adult coloring books, now I am also doing model cars, and writing children's fiction.

[Depressedgurl123]

You make a valid point by changing my name... I’ve never thought about it that way ... I’ve always identified with my mental illness. I’ve had anxiety and depression since I was little and it runs on both sides of the family. My little vacation was the only thing getting me through each day and then BAM! It’s over. I don’t know when I’ll ever have another one or when I’ll see my mom again.... and at the moment My boyfriend and I live with some of my family members, although they are wonderful I miss when we had our own apartment. Now when I come home I’m filled with anxiety because it’s not my own... I miss the peace and quiet that came with my own place... I would change it in a heartbeat if I could but everything is so expensive out here... even know we are trying to save/ and or find better opportunities it never seems like enough steps. It’s been a rough year for me... I don’t really want to come home it gives me anxiety and causes me to fight with my boyfriend constantly (it was his idea to move to this state) so I feel as if I hold a grudge. I do try to go out as much as possible on my days off... I like to explore the nearby cities but the anxiety and depression is always there. And when I get back “home” I’m very anxious. I need change in my life but things seem impossible and stagnant. As far as hobbies go I know I need to do them ... I try to go for walks ... but the things I use to love seem so meaningless to me I can’t even remember what I use to do for fun. Idk. I know I shouldn’t talk so negative because it doesn’t help... but it’s just the truth. Maybe I’m not going to get better until I’m put on medication ?

[Hidden]

From my life experience change is the only thing that we can count on. Nothing stays the same. It’s human nature to want things to be the same. We like what we know. It makes us feel safe. That you went out of your comfort zone and moved is going to cause anxiety. It’s perefectly normal to be anxious when we challenge ourselves. Give yourself credit for trying new things. You can’t learn about yourself if you stay in your own safe bubble. Don’t give up or get discouraged. It’s easy to live life when things are easy. It’s what you do in adversity that shows the kind of person you are. You will overcome this. And when you do you will be that much stronger!

[Hidden]

I know exactly how you feel, it's so hard to push through at times like this. I'm going through it right now but I try hard to force myself to get up and continue on and sometimes I feel better and tell myself I am strong because our struggles are real esp the depression when it hits me it hits hard. And most people don't know how hard it is just to get up and do the simple of things let alone go to work, esp if its physical labor hard work like mine when I'm consumed with deep depression and anxiety. Feel better soon, you can do it...you are strong! 🌹

[Windy101]

I always think that if people understood the courage and sheer strength it takes to get through a work day and home life while severely depressed, they would give us a medal.

I've found that medication is key for me. It keeps me functioning pretty normally and allows me to move forward with my life. I've gone to counseling at various times when things seem to be spinning out of control. It also helps to find something that gives your life a sense of purpose. For me, that was volunteering for a cause I cared about and going back to school. It completely changed my life.

Just know that you have more control over your situtation than you realize. It sounds like it's time to do something different to help yourself. Best wishes to you and please keep posting - you've got a lot of friends here who understand.