Scared

[Kianav]

I am a 24 year old woman I am concerned about my well being. I just need someone to talk to

[Vagabond37]

Everything okay?

[Kianav in reply to Vagabond37]

I'm really not sure. I'm overwhelmed. I have two kids but for some reason I feel like I'm going to loose it. Then I'm having constient thoughts of negative stuff.

[Agora1]

Hi Kianav and welcome.... you have found a safe place to talk. This is a group of very caring people who are sensitive to your needs. We welcome your thoughts whenever you are ready. x

[Kianav in reply to Agora1]

Thank you so much

[Hidden]

Welcome. Stay as long as you like.

[Hidden]

Hi..you can talk to us..

[Concernedparent23]

Hi kianav

I’m sorry you feel so scared and worried but I’m glad you posted here.

What are the biggest things that are troubling you right now?

[Kianav in reply to Concernedparent23]

My kids, my boyfriend, my health and my safety it's so weird I'm scared of losing my mind

[StarryNight72 in reply to Kianav]

Hi Kianav,

Welcome. It’s so difficult, isn’t it? The constant, nagging worry. For me, it’s like this low hum of bees buzzing. Sometimes it gets really loud and intense and frowns out everything else. Sometimes it’s quieter and I can ignore it. But it’s always there. Let me reassure you, you are not losing your mind. Anxiety is sneaky and slippery and one of the biggest liars there is. It likes to play tricks on you. It tries to convince you that something terrible is about to happen to you or to someone you love. And it’s very convincing. All of the sudden we start reacting to these lies anxiety is feeding us. We get psychological reactions in the form of intense emotions and -for me- feelings of intuition and deja vu. The best way I can explain it is this: have you ever been about to do something or go somewhere and you get this strong intuition or gut feeling that you shouldn’t? You can’t quite say why, you just instinctually “know” something. That, my friend, is anxiety lying to you. We also react very physically to the lies anxiety tells us. Some people have chronic pain, some have excruciating panic attacks, some can’t eat, or can’t sleep. For me, it’s been helpful to slow things down. First I just stop and close my eyes and try to listen (as a third party observer—like watching a movie) to all my thoughts. Instead of pushing them away or reacting to them, no matter how illogical they seem, I just listen. Then, I sometimes write down the ones that seem to produce the biggest reaction to me — this is how I identify what is really bothering me. A lot of times I worry about my health. It’s almost like that a generic worry to cover up something I don’t really want to face. Listening to my thoughts helps me uncover the real issue. I also find it helpful to view my disorders (depression, anxiety, panic disorder, and OCD) as separate entities. I have actually sat down with clay and sculpted each one. I gave each one a body and face and a color. It makes it easier to fight them or discount them if you can separate them from who you are. So for me when the anxiety starts lying and the thoughts get really intense, I can stop for a minute and imagine my clay sculpture of anxiety. I imagine it as a toddler throwing a tantrum and making all these thoughts happen. Suddenly, it’s not so scary anymore and I can kind of be in charge of it instead of it being in charge of me. You hang in there. We are all here. We all understand. You’re not crazy. I promise.

[Kianav in reply to StarryNight72]

I'm really happy you replied to me you really helped me. I downloaded a text saving app and I wrote down everything I felt and it led to me needed a break from my kids it's hard being a stay at home mom. Thank you so much