New and need help

[livinglife23]

Hello - I deal with anxiety, depression and alcoholism. Life seems to have not much meaning unless I'm drinking then it becomes fun...but then it turns bad with black outs, the anger, the bad choices etc. For years i've been trying to change myself but I feel I am stuck in a cycle. I hope that this outlet can help me.

[eatpraylove]

Hi, I am also recently new here. I have found that this website is incredibly helpful in finding relation to what your going through, and understanding. I also deal with anxiety, and depression and would recommend focusing on all of the positives in your life besides alcohol. Devote more time to doing what you love rather than drinking. Keep yourself busy that way you don't find time to drink in your day. I'm glad you decided to reach out on this website!

[livinglife23 in reply to eatpraylove]

Thank you for the great advice.

[eatpraylove in reply to livinglife23]

Of course, if you ever need anything more, or would just like somebody to talk to I'm always here.

[fauxartist]

alcohol is a depressant after the first couple of drinks. the first two drinks give you a feeling of euphoria...so you want to continue that feeling by drinking more. But it doesn't work that way. Self medicating with alcohol never worked out well for me in the long run. I was angry about my childhood. Depressed because I didn't know I had the disease of depression....which is not our fault...it's a chemical imbalance. If you have the pre-disposition for the disease of addiction....your doubly screwed, like I was and am. First I had to get sober...you can't do it alone at first...Find some resources...group help so you can get support to get sober....if your head isn't clear...you can't work on the stuff that's making you angry. Anger is the end product of other stuff not being addressed...

There is a lot of self defeating that goes with drinking....feelings of failure because you can't control it, beating yourself up emotionally because it ruins relationships, shame, blame....feeling weak cause you can't just have a few and be cool...nope...none of it works....there are no one or two drinks if your an alcoholic....it's none, and alcoholic is not a dirty word, it's a disease...but it's why there are groups that have strict anonymity....because society is still ignorant of mental health issues, and stigma and labels don't define us. But we do have to make the choices to get help, no one can fix us and there is no magic pill. I've been clean and sober for a long time....and it's just a daily maintenance ...but it's also a choice to live for me.