At least I tried

[Meerkat1993]

So to battle my depression and tendency to isolate myself I tried to sit down with my mom and her boyfriend for dinner tonight.. It was awful. I feel like a stranger in this house like I'm just going through the motions. I tried to be a part of the family but had to excuse myself from the table after five minutes if that. Idk if I'm being super irritated and moody.. But I have to eat in my room alone because I can't stand to hear their chewing.. He chews with his mouth open and it makes him sound like a cow chewing loudly it just kills me. Also the burping.. He let's out these huge nasty burps all through meals saying nothing but "what a pig!" Yeah no.. Nasty. I want to be a part of family and what not but I can't ignore things like this..

[Hidden]

why didn't you confront them there and there..

[Meerkat1993 in reply to Hidden]

I'm extremely anxious about confronting people.. Plus I didn't want to start problems.. I live at home for free and mostly don't feel I have a right to say anything.

[hypercat54]

Leave home? Is that possible or can you be working towards it? It's obvious you aren't happy at home so the obvious solution is to leave. If you can't do that then the only other thing is to change your attitude towards it. Do you have to join them for dinner if you don't want to? I hope you find a solution. x

[Meerkat1993 in reply to hypercat54]

I'm working towards that. I'm in nursing school right now and with my low paying job an apartment or anywhere else is unrealistic until I'm an LPN with a new job. I usually eat alone in my room because of that but I was trying to come out of isolation so I didn't seem so rude and like I didn't want to be part of the family. :/

[Hidden in reply to Meerkat1993]

Just because you live at home for free doesn't mean you become the black sheep..don't isolate yourself either..you said family, so you all must cooperate ..you have the right to say whatever..I would've said something at the table, indirectly.. But yeah.. Be your true self around home.. dont be scared..sounds like your holding alot in because you need them.. don't lose your confidence.. You all need to bounce off eachother.. And if it does come down to money, free, or no rights, i would opt to move out.. Because you come first.. Take control of yourself.. Not others you.. so it's your call really.. Sounds like you want your independence.. Good luck.. It'll all work out..

[hypercat54 in reply to Meerkat1993]

Ok I get that. Why not pick more carefully the times you become part of the family more. If it really irritates you listening to your mothers partner eat then don't join them for meals if he is there. Limit it to your mum only.

Maybe you could take part in other activities with him such as going for a walk or drive with them or something? How about after eating alone then watch telly with them? It doesn't have to be for long but at least they can't complain you aren't making an effort.

Do it more frequently but in smaller doses so when you do start to get irritated you can then leave. You can always make an excuse that you have homework to do, a friend to call, early night as you are tired etc. x