A Bad Night/Morning

[Saph_Heart]

I thought that if I got my chores done early I would be able to sleep earlier, knowing I wouldn't get woke up in the morning for not cleaning anything properly. It's happened so many times that I'm afraid to sleep anymore. So I finished all the cleaning early so if I spotted anything unclean I could clean it before going to bed...But this didn't help me last night. I finished the cleaning just before 8pm, my family went to bed at 10pm, and I stayed up until 4am dreading today. I woke up around 7am because I heard my dad yelling only to realize it was a nightmare. My family was sitting down to eat breakfast when I bolted past them to the bathroom so I could cry my eyes out. I stayed in the bathroom for another half hour trying to calm down when I couldn't. I was shaking so bad. I was hot and cold. I couldn't breath and was breathing too much...It's hurts when no one is there for you.

[DymphnaDarling]

My therapist would say to remember to feel good about yourself for making really effective choices last night about getting your chores done. I would then tell my therapist how difficult it is to feel good when everything hurts so bad. So I'll just say that I'm sorry you are having such a rotten time. It totally sucks when no one is supporting you. This crap is hard enough to deal with, let alone to have to deal with it alone. I am sorry you had such a bad night and morning and I hope you'll at least be able to take a nap today to make up some of that sleep. xoxo DD

[b1b1b1]

Why do you have to do so much cleaning?

[Saph_Heart in reply to b1b1b1]

I'm more of a maid than a daughter is why. And my dad wonders why my school counselor was telling him I'm depressed, anxious, and suicidal.

Sorry, I shouldn't be upset at you.

[Jen456]

Can you speak to your dad about how you feel? Or write him a note about it? If you are seriously depressed or suicidal, your counselor should contact child family services or have a meeting. I think explaining how this stuff affects you is important. Perhaps you and your dad can come to an agreement that’s helpful to you both. Anyone else at home?

[Saph_Heart in reply to Jen456]

I've already tried talking to my dad. My school counselor told him about what was happening with me via what my friends told her from what i told them. Afterwards my dad and I had a talk and HE summed up that i was perfectly healthy in every way and needed no help. I've tried so many times that I'm just going to give up on telling him. I'm moving in with a friend when I turn 18 anyways so...Everyone else in my house doesn't care either.