A Bad Night/Morning: I thought that if... - Anxiety and Depre...

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A Bad Night/Morning

Saph_Heart profile image
5 Replies

I thought that if I got my chores done early I would be able to sleep earlier, knowing I wouldn't get woke up in the morning for not cleaning anything properly. It's happened so many times that I'm afraid to sleep anymore. So I finished all the cleaning early so if I spotted anything unclean I could clean it before going to bed...But this didn't help me last night. I finished the cleaning just before 8pm, my family went to bed at 10pm, and I stayed up until 4am dreading today. I woke up around 7am because I heard my dad yelling only to realize it was a nightmare. My family was sitting down to eat breakfast when I bolted past them to the bathroom so I could cry my eyes out. I stayed in the bathroom for another half hour trying to calm down when I couldn't. I was shaking so bad. I was hot and cold. I couldn't breath and was breathing too much...It's hurts when no one is there for you.

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Saph_Heart profile image
Saph_Heart
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5 Replies
DymphnaDarling profile image
DymphnaDarling

My therapist would say to remember to feel good about yourself for making really effective choices last night about getting your chores done. I would then tell my therapist how difficult it is to feel good when everything hurts so bad. So I'll just say that I'm sorry you are having such a rotten time. It totally sucks when no one is supporting you. This crap is hard enough to deal with, let alone to have to deal with it alone. I am sorry you had such a bad night and morning and I hope you'll at least be able to take a nap today to make up some of that sleep. xoxo DD

b1b1b1 profile image
b1b1b1

Why do you have to do so much cleaning?

Saph_Heart profile image
Saph_Heart in reply to b1b1b1

I'm more of a maid than a daughter is why. And my dad wonders why my school counselor was telling him I'm depressed, anxious, and suicidal.

Sorry, I shouldn't be upset at you.

Jen456 profile image
Jen456

Can you speak to your dad about how you feel? Or write him a note about it? If you are seriously depressed or suicidal, your counselor should contact child family services or have a meeting. I think explaining how this stuff affects you is important. Perhaps you and your dad can come to an agreement that’s helpful to you both. Anyone else at home?

Saph_Heart profile image
Saph_Heart in reply to Jen456

I've already tried talking to my dad. My school counselor told him about what was happening with me via what my friends told her from what i told them. Afterwards my dad and I had a talk and HE summed up that i was perfectly healthy in every way and needed no help. I've tried so many times that I'm just going to give up on telling him. I'm moving in with a friend when I turn 18 anyways so...Everyone else in my house doesn't care either.

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