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Anxiety and Depression Support
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Getting a few things off my chest

Hello guys, I am 20 years old and I have been feeling depressed for the last three years. I did not feel that my depression was severe because I was able to push it to the back of my brain for the most part. I feel that I am very good at acting ok. However, since I have started university (which means I am living away from my parents and home) I feel so incredibly lonely. I think this has made my depression a whole lot worse and is making me have to face it. I have made no friends since I have started and feel that I am not coping at all. I spend most of my time doing nothing at all, sleeping and crying. I want to seek out help but am afraid to share with my parents how I feel because I have tried to tell them how I felt before but they do not understand why I would feel sad. They feel that my life is perfect and I should be happy but I am not. I do want to go to the GP'S but I am afraid that tablets will not help me as I feel that the source of my depression is from having low self-esteem and confidence. I honestly do not know what to do, I would be greatful for any advice.

Thank you.

N x

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I understand about not wanting to bring it up to family, my family is the same way. What could I possibly be depressed about or you dont have anxiety you're just fine.. I hear that alot.. But in reality I just want to talk about how I feel and why I feel this way. If you need someone to chat with Id be glad too. Im 21 so we are close in age so that might help as well.

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Hello, thank you so much for replying! I am new to this site but from just being able to write how I am feeling is so helpful and feels comforting that someone knows how I'm actually feeling. I would love to chat more!

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When I started at the university....I lived in the dorms and didn't know anyone, and was in a strange cold environment...I too felt very lonely and cried a lot...it was horrible. Then eventually I found some counselling on campus at the clinic. I also started to get to know people a little...eventually I was out of my shell a bit more and found that hanging out with people who had my same interests...like artists for one....I could actually relate to all the eclectic eccentricity's of other artists...but for me at that time, there was no real help like there is today for anxiety and depression...and if your old enough...go to the doctor on your own. If your parents don't understand....leave it be for now...but take care of yourself...it will make a change in your life to get the professional help you need now.

Read some of the others posts and comments, keep sharing...good people here, and many of them students as well...hang in there...it gets better.

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Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. I think I'll have to work up the courage to go to the doctors but I just don't feel up to it right now.

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understand....when you and if you want to...you will...

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Hello!

I am 57 years old and have been depressed for over 40 years. I finally received some help when I was in my early 30's. I can't give you advice, but I am happy to give you my experience and hope.

Depression is like being in the deep end of a pool, I am struggling with just being able to keep my head above water. I found that taking meds helped me like have a floatation device...say the floaties little kids wear in the pool. Taking meds and working through the source of my low self esteem moves me to having a float ring with a cool beverage. I am still in the pool and when a major change happens the float ring instantly becomes the floaties or nothing at all.

I have to manage my depression every second and I still feel suicidal a couple of times a year. My grandmother committed suicide and I have seen the devastation in my mom. So while she is alive, that will not be an option. I had to come to the realization that this a thing for me...I believe it is biological/chemical and emotional. Fixing one didn't work for me.

Now, based on your writing, it sounds like you are in the UK. I live there for 3 years and found my depression much greater. I don't mean this to be mean, I just found your culture to be a bit on the passive/aggressive side and very reserved. The P/A part can be hurtful for people like me - as I am super sensitive. The reserved part makes it difficult to make new friends. Being depressed also made it hard to make new friends because I was always exhausted from just the normal work day. Your socialized medical care can be a challenge as well. My journey in the 90s was equally challenging, I am grateful that I navigated it.

I am also in recovery from alcoholism. In the program we have a saying, "Act as if..." In this case, act as if I am not super sad all the time. "Faking it until I make it." So what I do when I am feeling sad is give random compliments to strangers in the shops or on the street. I find the one great thing about that person and tell them. The worse thing is they ignore me...so far that hasn't happened my than once or twice. Then I just say that person must be feeling worse than me...LOL.

I hope this helps a little. Know that you are loved by many and try to visualize the love surrounding you and guiding you to new friends and activities.

Robin (Its a girl name in America)

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Hello Robin,

I think I've survived to this point on the 'faking it till you make it' motto and I just can't fake it anymore. I used to work in retail, as a part-time job, and giving customers compliments was the highlight of my day! just seeing another person smile at me and look genuinely happy, used to make me feel good too. Maybe I should try and be more friendly with the people on my course at University but I hate feeling like I'm 'trying too hard'.

I am not surprised that you felt this way in the UK, we are very negative or passive/aggressive people.

I would like to say thank you so much for replying to my post. This is my first time on this site and seeing others share their experience has made me feel that I am not alone in my own world. Its made me want to open up about how I was feeling.

Also, I just want to say if you need anyone to talk to about how you are feeling, I would love to chat. ( I may not be able to offer any advice but it's nice just to have someone to listen)

Love N x

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Thank you so much and I would love to chat anytime. I do miss some aspects of UK and I was so sad when Little Britain went off the air. I still quote that show...even though I have to explain the joke by giving context....by then it is really not super funny! LOL. That is one thing that really helps me too! I love to watch comedies or comedians. Laughing really gets the positive mojo working - if only for a second.

I think it is so positive that you have chosen to reach out. You are on your way to a better life. You may not feel that way, but it is on its way. If you can't believe that, just believe that I believe!

Robin x

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