Tips & advice on heartache?

[hopefulwanderer]

My 4 year relationship ended.

It was for the best we had always been off & on since we got together and it ended in a civil way we were both saddened by it but knew it finally had to come to an end.

I have a healthy view on it, I have my faith to keep me grounded, and family and friends and my therapist I'm seeing next week,

Is there anything else that might be helpful?

He was my first love and boyfriend that I had experienced everything with, my heart feels so heavy but I know it's going to be okay.

Just looking for additional support or any tips or insight on the way the days are going to play out

[Agora1]

Hopefulwanderer, I'm sorry for the heartache you are experiencing. For it being your "first love", I think you are handling it in a very mature and positive way. Actually both of you are. Getting angry, feeling hurt is worse when it's one sided. The fact you two ended this relationship mutually and civilly shows me that you both share responsibility in your decision.

You have the support of family and friends as well as having a healthy view on it, is something most people don't have. What you need now is TIME... time will eventually heal the heartache you feel. After all it is a loss of part of you after 4 years together. It takes time to heal but it will happen for you. I wish you well. Know that the group is here to support you during this time xx

[hopefulwanderer in reply to Agora1]

Thank you so much.

You worded everything so perfectly,

It comforts my heart reading your response.

It is painful but you are completely right, time will heal,

Thank you again I hope youre having a wonderful evening🌹

[torresvee38]

I’m sorry to hear that. Heartbreak always hurt even if it was on mutual grounds. I remember dealing with my first heartbreak from my first love a few years ago. Looking back now it was the best decision, even if he ended it. I went through it alone, and tried to bury myself in work and tried to keep busy, but we all know how that’s difficult. The hardest, yet best thing I did was let all that loneliness and sadness wash over me. At that time I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t escape it. I felt I had no choice. I made myself feel it all, I had to try and overcome all those emotions. I’m not saying you should do it, or that it truly worked but in way I felt it helped me, you know? I send you so much positivity and well wishes. 🌼

[hopefulwanderer in reply to torresvee38]

Wow that's amazing,

That's actually the majority of what people have been saying to me.

To just feel everything and not repress painful emotions.

You did the wisest thing without even knowing.

Can't wait to get where you are to say that so confidently!

If you don't mind me asking,

Around what time period did it begin to hurt less for you?

And how long did your relationship last?

[torresvee38 in reply to hopefulwanderer]

My relationship lasted almost 4 years. The pain started to ease a little after a year. I did the most stereotypical typical thing you can do and that was go to Vegas with a friend. But, that in and of itself, though fun, did not take my mind off the pain. But after awhile, without even realizing it, it seemed to be gone. It was a bittersweet moment. You have those memories, and well wishes for them without the resentment or hostility. I had moved on without even realizing it.

[hopefulwanderer]

YESSSSSSS

[Concernedparent23]

Sending hugs.

You have a healthy perspective on this.

It's a grieving process, you're grieving the loss of the future life you might have together. As such you may expect to go through several phases before you can let go of the pain completely.

Each one is a phase, allow yourself to pass through and then you won't get "stuck". You will end up learning more and being wiser and more resilient.

One thing to do if you can might be to avoid him on any social media if it's applicable. You may not want to block him but maybe turn off notifications for a while.

You will heal quicker if you're not being constantly reminded of what he's doing/where he's going/who he's seeing.