I'm a newbie. Suffer from depression and anxiety

[Deedle05]

I've been dealing with depression and anxiety as far back as I can remember. Like kindergarten. It's made life difficult. I'm on meds and have Ben on them for like 20 years. Does anyone still have moments of rough days even though on meds? I remember being little and petrified to talk to kids in class. I also had an overwhelming fear of being put on the spot and looking stupid. Frightened I'd say something dumb and get laughed at. I've had sleeping issues also from as far back as I can remember. Scared someone would break in our house to kill me. I've grown out of some things but still have flare ups of feeling like I don't fit in. No one likes me, my life sucks and wonder why I'm even alive. For years I covered it all up with drugs and alcohol. I felt brave while doing those things. For the most part I can feel normal but there are days I'm sad and cry for days. Thinking I'm alone and No one cares about me. Those times I do a lot of praying. Anyone else been through these feelings?

[Hidden]

I covered up my anxiety with hook up apps. Now I’m dealing with myself and my anxiety and insomnia are insane but I am finally working on my core issues. Its rough. Prayer yes, last night I read the Word and peace came to me. I hold onto those moments of pure peace and know it will be ok. I also realized I’m a codependent and joined CoDa