Giving Boyfriend with Anxiety space

[lisamcm]

Hi there, my boyfriend suddenly left without warning last week and now will hardly talk to me. He says he needs space to deal with his anxiety. I've not had any experience with anxiety prior to this but the part that doesn't make sense to me is why he won't answer my calls or respond to my texts? Can someone with anxiety explain this to me?

[CazO46]

Hi lisamcm, everyone is different but sometimes people going through a difficult time with anxiety only have energy to deal with things hour by hour and talking to people they love and who love them is just too difficult. It sounds like you want to be there and help him thru this but he maybe thinks he needs to focus only on himself right now which in the end might help him and your relationship. You know him best I'm sure but perhaps if you tell him you love him, you are there for him and give him a little space and time to help himself this might allow him to feel secure that you will still be there when he feels better. I wish you both all the best X

[lisamcm in reply to CazO46]

Thank you so much for your reply. It is so hard going from having a boyfriend saying "I love you" to not coming back home and not talking to you..

[CazO46 in reply to lisamcm]

Yes it is very hard. I'm sure he still loves you just as much but right now he might have retreated into himself if he feels scared and vulnerable. Anxiety is a lonely feeling and people often isolate themselves to cope, even though logic says sharing and connecting with others would probably help more. There are sometimes feelings of shame and being a buden to others. Love and patience might be what's needed right now? But you must also look after yourself, keep connected to your support network and share your worries too, lots of people here have experience X

[Forestina]

When I was at my worst I felt so nauseous and exhausted I couldn't speak to anyone. I did lose a few friends but most stuck by me and I so appreciated their understanding, more than I have been able to tell them.

You also feel worthless and don't want to contaminate others with your low state.

I have a friend who I know is going through major challenges and not responding to texts of e mails for months. It is very hard, particularly when it is someone very close. All I do with this friend is every so often send an occasional text telling her that I am thinking of her etc, not expecting reply. Please,remember it is no reflection upon you.

[fauxartist]

unfortunately, there's nothing you can do about it....I would write him a letter and say that you are giving him space, but would like a to know every now and then how he's doing, and if he's moving on from the relationship, have the decently to tell you so you can get on with your life.