Struggling

[lrlag03]

I am really struggling with life right now. I work with students (college aged) and while I love them dearly...they come to me for everything. They want life advice, love advice, when they are down they want me to bring them up...I just feel so drained. Then I get home and it is just my dog and me...I have nobody I am close to here and have nobody I can unload on. Add to that, a year ago I had to have a hysterectomy...a blessing but the idea I will never have children hits me at the most random time (I am 37). I have been divorced for almost 6 years, he ended up marrying the woman who was "on the side" while we were married. I feel like I am in a hole...I want a relationship but have found nobody really worth dating. I worry this is going to be my life...just me and the dog...I want more but not sure how to go about finding it. Really want to curl into a ball, cry...and then just sleep so that I don't have to feel this emptiness. I feel like not many people can even relate to the place I am at in life...the people I work with are young or old...nobody in my age range. Needing any advice on how to get out of this funk so I can go back to living life and enjoying what I can...

[fauxartist]

I am sorry your in this place in life, feeling sad and drained from work. You may not have even noticed that you might have put your all into your work after your divorce and for some, work helps to not dwell on personal issues, when your so wrapped up in others stuff, you tend not to think of your own stuff.

Sounds like now your ready to move on with your life do something more for yourself. As you probably already know, it would be a good idea to start gently and as time allows putting up some barriers at work to keep some of your energy for your personal life. Then I would suggest looking into some of the community's that have men and women in your age group. I found groups that had a lot of women who were divorce or widowed or just wanted to be in their career and still have a life outside work. I went to different functions, found a group eventually I clicked with, and had a lot of fun. Your in your prime still....lots of time to get out and live again. You will, you just have to start looking around. What are your interests...if it's polka dancing, or book club, gardening, mushroom hunting...it seems on-line theres every conceivable topic, and then groups that meet up occasionally. Your gonna be okay, and getting input helps me, I am glad your sharing here.

[Lisau2 in reply to fauxartist]

I have found groups on Meetup.com for everything from game nights to gardening to meditation. There may be some in your area, take a look! Also they have groups for specific age ranges.

[nkay in reply to Lisau2]

I can imagine that things feel pretty awful right now. No one should be treated like that by their spouse. You seem like a very kind person and I believe that something good is on the horizon for you. I have a lot of friends who at 37 thought they would never meet anyone and we’re married within a year. Now they all have kids. Don’t give up.

[lrlag03]

Thank you all so much for your encouragement! I am going to look into meetup again...last time I checked there wasn't anything close to me but maybe if that is still the case I can start something up!

[Hidden]

Yes I agree sign up on one of these sites, I signed up on a different type and well let me just say at 37...when I thought life was pretty much at a halt. I met someone, had twins and well that is where I am at in life now. So definitely don't give up!

[EmLee96]

do not feel bad about needing someone to help you- counselors, therapists, and other professionals (even teachers, anyone who comes to you for help) often find themselves taking on too much. they need someone to unload on like others unload on them.

i'm sorry that you feel like you are alone. have you tried any dating websites or connecting with people at work or old friends? do you have any girl friends that you could hang out with? sometimes hanging out with friends help you find a significant other!