still trying

[tarabeth1]

looked up alan robarge on youtube, some very helpful stuff there. I watched a few videos & some of the content really spoke to me. Identifying that the loss & sadness im feeling are running so deep that it just doesn't make sense that its only connected to this breakup. I've always known that I deep inside ive been hurt very badly by my childhood, and in the past I was in relationships with men who hurt me on some level as well, being distant, or cheating, or emotionally or physically abusive...the pain now is because I was so sure I had finally picked a guy that was none of those things. My heart finally felt ready to be open and to trust, and I knew in my soul this man was the angel I'd been waiting for. Now I have to realize that my instincts were wrong, my interpretations were wrong, and im still just a sad lonely person shriveling up inside waiting for someone to honestly love me. ANYWAY. The videos were helpful, and the book that was recommended, "its called a breakup because its broken" is a light but intuitive read as well.. hope everyone is hanging in there today...im trying. *Sidenote: I actually have to see him tonight for a social function and my stomach is in knots