St John's Wort Withdrawals

[Mguss]

Hi guys,

I've been on SJW for about 3-4 months, and it's been great (even with only 1 dose of a super generic brand from the super market). But I've grown uncomfortable with taking it, so I decided to stop.

Other note, I've returned to work after nearly a two-year confusing period of my life. It's not great but it's a much-appreciated start.

And another note, I went out this past weekend and drank a bit of alcohol (not blackout but more than I'm used to; I'd essentially "quit" for some months while I was rebuilding myself).

So, Sunday, I wake up after only a couple of hours of sleep and have a panic attack; and last night, I couldn't fall asleep because my mind just felt "on". Today, I ended up having a breakdown at my therapists' office (an emergency session).

Now, I'm okay: I went on a run, mediated, and did a body scan. I can't exactly blame alcohol alone or SJW (is that even a thing?), but I think it's a lot of my mind interacting than any other thing.

I'm still paranoid if I'll be able to sleep though. Anyone know that feeling when your mind is just on but your body is exhausted? What did you do/take to take care of it?

[Annabanana0715]

Ugh yep I definitely know what you mean about your body being tired but your mind not. It’s 2 am on a weekday where I am now lol! I’ve found help with melatonin, Benadryl (I have awful seasonal allergies so it helps in multiple ways), and a lot of times listening to guided meditation/relaxation videos on YouTube put me right to sleep. (Hmm it’s almost like I should take my own advice now lol).

I’ve never taken SJW, but I have stopped antidepressants cold turkey before and it was hell. I know it’s a supplement, but I’ve heard that it acts very similarly to antidepressants, so gradually reducing your dosage down to nothing may be the smartest choice so that your body doesn’t freak out and feel starved of serotonin.

Also at the risk of sounding like my mom shaming me after a night of drinking (I love to drink on the weekends so I’m preaching to the choir here again), but it’s very possible that the alcohol could have depressed your mood further after losing its accustomed amount of serotonin. I’m not sure about the science of that, but my mom loves to remind me that I shouldn’t drink when depressed because alcohol acts as a depressant.

Also yay for you going back to work!! That’s a huge deal and I’m so glad for you! I find that new beginnings really pull me out of my depression but I try to to get too reliant on the high of the moment because I don’t want to crash and burn once I become accustomed to my new routine. That’s still awesome though! I hope something I said was worth reading all this mess 😆

[Mguss in reply to Annabanana0715]

Hi ansax9,

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply! Everything you've said is so helpful! Pointer in the job: It's true that this is a positive step in the right direction! I had been definitely overly critical and negative about it though. I had been used to working at a major organization with brand recognition with easy access to influential people (but I developed anxiety and depression); and with this "get-back-to-working-again" job at this company, I made comparisons and cognitive distortions, which made me develop anger and guilt. With the stopping of my SJW, my cognitive distortions, it's no wonder I developed so much anxiety that my mind just refused to shut off (maybe as an effort to avoid going to work?). I haven't realized fully how strong our subconscious is until now.

But I'm making the right decision in going back to work and, hopefully, doing good work and becoming an asset yet again to an organization. Clearly, a career is super important to me.

The alcohol was definitely what did me in, I think, especially since I am going through withdrawals. I think the good news is that I hadn't been on it that long compared to others who go on with antidepressants for years (I was maybe 16 weeks?). I mean, I've made the necessary progress: I'm employed, earning an income, and looking to the future, and gonna be applying again for better positions.

I'm hoping to combat these symptoms (and future depression relapses) with consistent exercise, CBT with my therapist, mindfulness practices, diet, and engaging task (employment).

Thank you again!

[Choosejoy in reply to Mguss]

It sounds like you are on the right track. Having some healthy rountine in our lives is so important. Also really glad you are getting professional help. I have done that several times over several years. Sometimes I just need a tune up ( : It has always been helpful.

[Mguss in reply to Choosejoy]

Thank you! I think I'm on the right track, too. I had been thinking about going off the SJW because something inside me (my intuition? My soul?) told me to do so.

And I think I was right with that decision. As mentioned earlier, I had gone through some withdrawals and I think I've managed to have most of it flushed out of must system now (I stopped taking it consistently probably three weeks ago). And today I feel "normal".

Taking my experience into account and reconciling it with online research, it appears that the SJW was making me "Hypomanic"! I literally had all the symptoms mentioned and felt so weird, like something was wrong. And apparently I was right. Today is a much better work day, or just day in general. I definitely intend to keep up with therapy for a little while longer and everything else.

[Choosejoy]

That's so great.