Memories are the worst enemy

[vanessi]

Today is not a good day, I have been having my old happy memories and they break my heart, I wish I could have a way to turn off my brain and stop thinking about what made me happy in the past. I guess one of the hardest things in a breakup is to remember how happy you were and how miserable you are today.

I feel like this, I don't want to remember anymore, I wish my brain could block all those thoughts!!!

I feel destroyed today, very lonely and depressed, my headache is killing me and I feel like crying so much

I wish someone could help me

[HearYou]

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and a great many people are happy and a great many people are remembering old flames and lost loves. This is life. This is a day for everyone, happy and sad

He must have known something you didn't notice; for reasons known to him, he broke up with you because he knew the future the way he saw it, was not going to be a good one for the two of you. So he made a decision, that in the long run may actually have protected you from a very difficult and outright unhappy future for you if you had stayed together.

Tomorrow Feb.14 is Valentine's Day. Be happy for those who are with the right person, think about those who have lost loves, and think about those who remember old flames from long ago.

It is a day for you to think about all those people Vanessi, just as they have been thinking of you all this time on this forum even though they have lost loves too. Time to give a little support back. On Valentine's Day we all need that xx

[vanessi in reply to HearYou]

I am happy for all those who have their love, i only wish everybody can be happy and a good life. But don't ask me to feel better cos it won't happen. Believe me it is nothing to do with valentines, i didn't even remember it's tomorrow i feel very sad every day

[HearYou in reply to vanessi]

Vanessi, I am not asking you to feel better, but to shift for just one day away from yourself and remember and offer support to all the others who have lost loves. Time to start looking out and around to others who are sad or melancholy and tomorrow happens to be a difficult day for many who could use support too. xxx

[vanessi in reply to HearYou]

Yes I know tomorrow is gonna be a bad day for many. I try to support as much as I can but for me it is a normal day, I'm not sad cos tomorrow I'm sad in general. I hope everybody feels better

[HearYou in reply to vanessi]

Ok Vanessi, let's try this one more time. I do not have a daughter. Never had that blessing, but I care about you and am trying to help you right now, to be able to support others without always needing to tell them you are unhappy or sad or also have a lost love. We know this, and we feel for you, support you, and wish you a bright future that you can't allow yourself to yet see.

People with lost loves, and memories of old flames (older people) may be sad and melancholy, particular tomorrow, need understanding and support without hearing about our sadness, loneliness or bittersweet memories and feelings. We put their feelings before ours, ignoring ours, even if for a short time.

I will try to do that if you will, beautiful Vanessi. xxxxx

[Marshall64]

How long has it been since your breakup? As the saying goes, time does heal all wounds. Probably not helpful but it is true.

I went through a divorce and it was the most painful time in my life. I relied on my support system of friends and family. My faith, exercise, and long showers helped. Avoid isolating yourself and use your support system (if you have one). Keeping busy helps keeping your mind off of the situation.

[vanessi in reply to Marshall64]

2 months, i have tried everything but nothing is helping me, i feel very sad and concerned about my future.

[Marshall64]

Don't worry about the future. Try living in the now (it is ironic that I'm saying that because I have the same problem). Try to take things day by day and after a period of time someone will probably notice that you are a happier person (inevitably it is always someone noticing it before we do).

Do you have a support system of friends, family, clergy, etc?

[vanessi in reply to Marshall64]

I take it day by day. For me it is a every day battle, and I don't want someone notices me, I don't want someone else. I want to feel ok again, that's it!!!!

But I live miserably now

[HearYou]

Hello Marshall64. I noticed you have just joined the forum on Valentine's Day in your part of the world. Hope your day is a good one and a very warm welcome to the forum. Please remember, if you need someone, there is always someone in some part of the world reading and replying to posts, PMs and replies, no matter what time it is where ever you are.

[fauxartist]

a breakup is like a death emotionally, it's extremely traumatic and devastating to anyone, but for some of us, like myself who suffers from CPTSD and abandonment issues, you really get stuck in the grief for a very long time. I hated the saying that time heals wounds, well, bull*hit, some of us will always have the scares you can't see, and that's why its so hard when we loose someone we love, the loss is very deep. So for myself, I had to get help in counselling and group therapy on learning to deal with grief and loss, and learning to let go. Honestly, it's a hard slog, but it does get better baby steps at a time.

[Hidden in reply to fauxartist]

whoever ………………...u...…………………………….r...………………..u and dolphin and others...……..

help

sooooooooooooooooooo

much...………………………………………………………………………………………...

(thank

U)

[Hidden]

try looking at beautiful pictures...………..can be healing or music...…….just a thought...….hug a animal or friend etc...…….buy yourself some flowers...……****** send yourself a caring card...….

[Mr0518]

I know how you feel I'm depressed all day everyday. Because I left somebody who loved me for somebody who doesn't give a s*** about me. Not only just a person I'm with. Not love me but he cheated on me when I was pregnant and I have to live with that every day knowing what he did to me. I was 7 months pregnant when I found out he was cheating on me every day when I was at work try to make our lives better. Now I don't know what to do anymore. I wish I could shut off my brain and forget everything but it's not that easy.