My worst enemy

[Missingsun2014]

Is me! I saw a recording of myself and I am horrified! I feel like the weirdest person in the world! I have no rhythm, I'm ugly and can not think of one reason anyone would want to be hanging around with me! Does anyone else feel that way? Is there a solution? I want to crawl in a hole and never come out! Plus, I still feel I have no life left. I am in a dead-end job and feel too old to relocate or try and find something new! I am just totally disgusted with myself! I would not ever trying to end my life, but I think of it often because I just do not see a future in the way I am living right now! I go to work, go home, watch tv, go to bed, then get up and do it all again! There is nothing in this town to keep me engaged! I do bowl one night a week and that is about it! I am just sick of not feeling energy or hope!

Thank you!

[Krn210]

I can sympathize with what you’re saying about boredom. I too find that I am bored with the monotony of routine....but let’s rewind first. Remember you are your own worst critic. The way we view ourselves is entirely different than the way others see us. You are being too hard on yourself. People want to hangout with you and like you because you are you. Now back to the boredom thing...I am trying to mix things up a bit. Habit is hard to break. Yesterday instead of sitting on the couch I went through a box of junk in my room and listened to music. It felt good when I was done. The box is out of my room and I wasn’t parked on the couch doing the same thing. I think I am going to make a vision board for more long term goals and aspirations. Making it will be something different and depending what I put on there, it will make me do things outside of boring routine too. I’m not crazy about my job either. It’s mundane and not what I pictured myself doing, but I have to pay my bills so...lol. All in all I’m right there with ya! 🤗🤗

[Missingsun2014 in reply to Krn210]

Tell me more about the vision board! That sounds interesting!

[NWGal]

Your depressed mind is telling you all these horrible things friend! I found there are way uglier and way more physically beautiful people than me out there. That's okay. I have people who love me and that's all the confirmation I need. As far as switching professions, I went back to school when I was 55 years old and got my B.A. in Psychology, then finished my Master of Social Work in Mental Health Therapy at 61. It is possible! I got a job right away.

[Missingsun2014 in reply to NWGal]

No way!!? I am so inspired right now! I really do like helping people, but am unsure as to what to do! I make decent money, but I feel that the money is holding me back! I was much happier when I was raising my son on my own making 10k for over 10 years! Now that I’m able to help or provide, I think I’m doing better...But, I’m more unhappy then ever! Plus, he is grown and doesn’t really need me which is hard to swallow!

[NWGal in reply to Missingsun2014]

How about going to school part time? Then you will be not only earning a paycheck but pursuing a goal!

[Esther228]

Hi, I’ve read what others have posted to you and they are doing such a good job at giving you other ideas to help overcome how you’re feeling. I have to say too, that I believe that you were wonderfully made, and you are exactly who you are supposed to be!

I’d offer just a couple of other things that I’ve found to be helpful. When I was a single lady, I used to go to the singles group at our church. It was great fun to be involved with other people, in a safe environment, and we were able to enjoy doing some interesting activities (things like taking a hike up a mountain, pizza party, and movie night) within a group. You’d be surprised how many folks are out there that just want to connect with other singles and make new friends.

The other thing that I do is create things. I love to make quilts, afghans, or do any sewing projects and give them away to family and friends. It keeps my hands busy and it also helps me feel good by giving things away. I also like to send them notes of encouragement and anything uplifting. It helps me too when I know that there are friends of mine that are shut-in to make sure that I touch base with them to see how they are doing.

You can get through this, so don't give up hope.

[Hidden]

What I’m also ugly? I wake up every day and think hmm was I this ugly when I was 20. Sure was guess wrinkles can’t hurt doesn’t matter right if no one is around to notice. Hope you know there are lots of ugly people in the world but rhythm come on everyone has rhythm.

Also the last person I was with didn’t help me much on my confidence level but he did say- doesn’t matter what you look like in the dark. Guess it doesn’t wish he had a soul like mine but as they always say love will find you when you stop looking for it.

Affirmation I’m so sick of all these people falling in love with me. Affirmation I’m so tired of being this good looking. Affirmation #3 I’m so tired of being supported by all these kind loving and loyal people.