New here

[2getbetter]

Hi, my name is Ron and I am new on here. I hope to be able to draw strength and confidence from others on here who have paved the way ahead of me. I continue to learn about my condition and myself and it isn't always fun, as a matter of fact, i have more bad days than good ones. 6 months ago, I wasn't this bad. I just want to get better sooner than later and get my life back.

[Agora1]

Hi Ron and Welcome to the Forum. You've come to the right place in getting support and understanding from the many men and women who are going through the same journey as well as those of us who have "paved the way". Unfortunately, there is no easy way in skipping steps in getting to the end of the rainbow. For me, it was years of anxiety as well as 5 years of Agoraphobia. It was a learning experience all the way. Learning every we can, being on medication, tons of therapy and trying all other modalities to see what worked best for me. The answer for me was weaning off my long time medication which was no longer working and using acceptance of what was given me in my life as well as Daily Meditation & Deep Breathing.

It wasn't easy but it can be done. Giving up is never an option nor staying stuck in one place. Going forward through the help of the forum in baby steps will get you to your goal.

Glad you found us, looking forward to seeing you on the forum whenever you are ready. You have found a safe and caring place to vent and knowing you are never alone.

[2getbetter in reply to Agora1]

I’m slowly learning that I’m not alone and it helps to hear others struggling like I do. I just never knew that I’ve had this most of my life but shrugged it off as seasonal or situational and not an illness, which is hard for me to admit to.

[Opossumish]

Welcome, Ron. Great job reaching out for support and community. I'm sorry you're in the midst of a rough patch: I know how slowly time passes when you feel crummy. Rest assured that one day you will feel better, we always do eventually, although the wait can seem interminable. Wishing you courage and strength.

[2getbetter in reply to Opossumish]

Thank you- in my case, time seems to fly by- I can sit at my desk and attempt to get work done, and can’t find the focus to do anything and the next thing I know, several hours have gone away I’m what seemed like 10 minuets. I wish I knew why it has gotten worse for me and can only hope that it isn’t permanent.

[Opossumish in reply to 2getbetter]

It is frustrating when it's hard to know what triggered what. I had a lengthy bad patch several years ago and I still puzzle over why it happened. Hopefully I'll figure it out one day; in the meantime I'm just grateful it's over.

From your post it sounds like you may be newly aware of your condition? I'm impressed that you're arming yourself with knowledge and support.

Keep on fighting the good fight. It will get better.

[2getbetter in reply to Opossumish]

I am and as I’ve had some better days, it’s allowed me to look back and see that I’ve had this much longer than I wanted to admit. I felt like I had to do this on my own and if I couldn’t, I was somehow weak. My biggest hurdle was to admit I had something wrong with me and that I needed help. My cousin said that the whole negative stigma on mental illness needs to change, we need to reliable it brain health. It’s just like any other sickness except in how people react and look upon it.

[Hidden in reply to Opossumish]

I'm scared I won't get better. Going through this for 5 years

[2getbetter in reply to Hidden]

I wish I had an answer for you on that. That is one of my fears, that it won't get better and I will have to live with it the rest of my life like it is now. I'm working hard to get stronger and I keep reading up on it more to better understand it and continue to seek out more help and advice. Some times, I think I'm making progress, and other days, not so much. But the fact that on good days, I can recognize my bad days is an improvement in itself because a month ago, I couldn't do that. Just keep trying and lean on others in here for that needed support. We can all get better with each others help. I truly believe that.

[Hidden]

I'm scared because I have no family support.

[2getbetter]

I don't have much for close family support but have distant family support. I also have some friends, that I try not to burden, but I also know they are there for me if I need them. Do you have any close friends or co-workers you trust? We have to find you at least someone or 2 to be there for you in times of crisis. Even a pastor or old teacher, or old neighbor. Going it alone just isn't a good option and I tried it and it about killed me. It can get better, but baby steps and one day at a time. I didn't listen to my wife when she told me that and ended up pushing her away. Now I'm trying to get myself better so I can get to be able to work on fixing the mess I created with her. That's my motivation.