Broken heart

[Smellycat123456]

Why do I always wake up depressed. Why am I so broken and empty inside.

[DAVIDkd]

I am confident that, based on my experience, the answer is ENGAGED ACTIVITY. To find something you want to do more than your depression wants NOT to do it, is the key to climbing out of the hole. This is MUCH easier said than done. You need help. You need someone to nurse you along in the process until your own motivation catches fire and you can build up a head of steam - that is an old railroad analogy - think steam locomotive. I can also say from experience that things can get so cold in that firebox that all you will want to do is sit or lay down and stare into space. I have been there.

Start out with some kind of medication that is not self administered. Let it lift your spirits as much as it will. Then, try to allow yourself to be moved by something....anything that can move you out of your present moment and beyond your psychic pain. Try to do without the dope. You NEED not to be calm. You need to be uncomfortable to move off your present position. I suggest your first move be to find a GOOD counselor. Someone who challenges you to do something different. Whether or not you actually do what they say is less important than them continuing to lift you up and show you the sun. Eventually you will try something. Eventually you will want to. That can be the beginning of getting better.

Then you can be in the place that I am; graduated from immobilizing psychic pain to bland lethargy. You can do things. And sometimes you want to do things - and do. But mostly your mind is a high-efficiency veto machine - shooting down ideas as fast as they arise, My head feels stuffed with mental cotton tah won't allow new ideas enter, let alone stick. You will still need help at this point. A sympathetic family member could do the job of asking for YOUR help with tasks that need done. I don't have one of those but I long for one.

Beyond this I cannot advise you. I once spent a year and a half climbing out of a deep depressed hole and finally got better when I felt well enough to independently look for a new job. Things took off from there. Unfortunately, after about ten years of recovery, I fell back into lethargy. I know you can get better. I know I did - and it was a good decade. I enjoyed it. I hope you can manage one of your own. FORWARD!