what is going on?

[Shanm2]

Why can't i pull myself together? I keep having moments where i just burst into tears and start crying, followed by outburst of anger towards my family members? this has happened before. But what the hell is going on with me?! This is the feeling i hate the most, when i cant emotionally deal with whatever it is thats going on in my head and it leads to unhealthy habits or patterns. I dont know how long i can keep dealing with this depression. its been months now.

[Vrt14]

I know what you mean... It's been very difficult to get motivated lately. Sometimes I have good days but there's always this dark cloud and I always feel lonely... Hope you feel better. Hugs

[Shanm2 in reply to Vrt14]

I hope you are okay, and today was a good day for you, sending big cuddly hugs back to you x

[Hidden]

I wish I had some answers! I have been feeling exactly the same lately.

[Shanm2 in reply to Hidden]

I'm sorry you've been feeling this too, its just horrid and it saddens me that you to have felt this way, I hope something real great happens to you soon ad you begin to smile again! wishing all the best x

[Hidden in reply to Shanm2]

Same to you

[cmeanonymous]

I think just coming here and talking about it may help. It helps me. I have a lot of anxiety right now. I like just having a safe place to get it all off my chest.

No answers except to keep sharing and keep coming back.

[Shanm2 in reply to cmeanonymous]

it definitely is a big help just to try and type what going on through your mind, thank you for your words and i hope your anxiety starts to get better soon x

[cmeanonymous in reply to Shanm2]

❤️❤️❤️

[Shanm2 in reply to cmeanonymous]

<3 <3

[photobeats in reply to cmeanonymous]

I feel this same way

[photobeats]

I understand. I get that way too. There's a lot inner dialog that goes on and it is frustrating. Some times I wish I could cry and get some relief but most of the time, I just can't. A lot of times It feels like my thoughts are all over the place. I love to write and write poetry every chance I get. Write on anything and whenever bits and pieces. I do get upset with my family a lot of times because they could never understand how deep my depression/social anxiety is. Its almost as if they have their own "cure" for it all and will gladly let me know it every single time. I isolate myself, which could be considered unhealthy but with my anxiety -it comes off as necessary at times. For months now, it has seemed like my depression has gotten worse. It could be the winter months? I don't know but I live in the south, there is basically no such thing as winter here. I don't have $$$$ for treatment and I don't like medication is the answer anymore. I have been on meds for 8 years and that part of my life ended 5 years ago so I don't want to pick up meds again esp. when I feel like medication isn't going to fix anything. I do meditation weekly and lucid dreaming exercises and that helps. I'll admit though some days... it does feel like I can't pull myself together either. Night times are the worse and they have been whether I'm on meds or not. Night times can be tough for me.

And so Shanm2,

I''ll end my long rant (or whatever the heck that was) in the hope that things get better for you in the days to come, some how, some way. Sorry, this isn't the pep talk that people normally post up. I am currently writing this at 1am so yeah, that'll do it. I'll pulling for you.

[fauxartist]

I have those dark days still too, but at least now I know it will pass...and they do. Everyone is different though, there is no 'magic pill', or no 'one thing cures all potion' for this, you just have to find what works for you to get through the day, or days. I know after reading most of the posts that some live there everyday, weeks, months, years. I got help with meds, but like I said, I still will had a bad day where everything goes dark. I hope you find what works for you to help get through it.