So, I have had depression for the better part of my life. I was first diagnosed at age 13 (I’m 36 now) and I have been treated off and on since then. When I entered my 30’s I began having panic attacks. I’ve been on medication for this and have had counseling but I’m not currently being treated. What I have been experiencing is like nothing I have ever been through before. I have always enjoyed talking to people, even if I had no idea who they were. I’ve always been a person on the go; I like to be busy. I’ve never had a problem going to a doctor, only the dentist, that’s a big phobia for me. But over the last 6 months plus, I have slowly started to notice things, like when I leave my house I begin to get anxious, it doesn’t matter where I’m going. I start freaking out while I’m driving alone or riding passenger in a car. Talking to people now sends me into panic mode and I shut down, even if I know them. And now, i have serious problems going to the doctor. This has become the most horrifying experience of my life, and I have to be seen once a week, every week. I have been going to this same place for about a year and a half and up until a couple weeks ago I never had trouble going. About Two weeks ago though, I went in just like I always have and that’s when it hit me. It was so out of the blue for this to happen here, a place I know and usually feel fine going to. I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath, and my heart was pounding so loud, I needed a place to escape, fast. There may have been 4-5 people in there waiting also and I was so afraid of what they were thinking if they had noticed my symptoms. I was shaking uncontrollably now so I got up and went into the bathroom so I could take some deep breaths without anyone thinking I was a nut case. My stomach become a pretzel, knotted up. I was having severe chest pains. I felt like I was 1000 degrees internally, and my face was flushed. I felt so out of control. This wasn’t me. I have had panic attacks in my life but nothing like this. Over the weekend, my husband and I went to do our taxes and this happened again, not nearly as bad this time, but it happened and I don’t know why. And then again this morning when I had to go to the doctor another attack hit me. I have been reading and educating myself on anxiety and how to cope with it, but I’m hoping I can find at least one person who has been through this and can share how they got through it. I have an appointment with a doctor who specializes in anxiety on 1-31. I have anxiety about my anxiety now. I am always wondering when it’s going to happen again, where will I be when it happens, what are people going to think of me? I am paralyzed by my fear and anxiety, and my fear of anxiety. This is so hard to explain to my husband and even though he is very supportive and only wants to help, it’s hard for me to explain all of this. To a point I’m embarrassed of what’s happening to me. If anyone has any advice please share. I know that I’m not, but when these attacks happen, I feel so alone and like I’m the only person in the world who is or has gone through this.