Advice please

[Amos1993]

So I stopped taking Lexapro about three months ago then at the beginning of May my anxiety and depression came back strong. I thought I didn’t need the meds. Now I have no appetite, don’t want to leave the house, cry a lot, and just want to feel like I did. My doctor says to start back on Lexapro. I am at 20mg and still feel horrible. It has only been 10 days. Will it get better? Any support would be appreciated. I can’t take much more of this. I don’t know how to go on.

[XoxoFaith]

Hi I also stopped my medication and my anxiety and depression came back worse than before I was scared all the time didn’t want to do anything so many racing thoughts , negative thoughts and feeling so sad so I went back on them again

[Starrlight in reply to XoxoFaith]

Glad you got through it, strong you

[Amos1993 in reply to XoxoFaith]

Did you feel better again after starting the meds again? How many weeks did it take you

[Hidden]

I have been on Celexa for 7 years. I have tried to stop or reduce dose numerous times but the wave of despair that hits me after three days off is overwhelming even though I know it is just that my serotonin level has crashed and it will take time to rebound. I have not made it more that 4 days without it. I also read that it is risky to stop ssri meds without tapering. Going off of the meds was a way for you to see if they were effective, which seems to be confirmed. It could take several weeks to feel better again once you restart the medication.

[Zyxx in reply to Hidden]

Don’t ever go off it without tapering, boy….cause you’ll be in a world of pain you didn’t know exists.

[Hidden in reply to Zyxx]

Thnk you for the advice. I even just tried going down to 30 from 60 mg this week and after 3 days I sunk into a dark place and would cry for any reason. I am back on 60 and probably won't try to reduce again.

[Zyxx in reply to Hidden]

I hear you. I’m building up again after going down. I cried for 7 months straight :). Now, I just have bad stomach aches and nausea for fear. All good fun!

[Hidden in reply to Zyxx]

So I have beat myself up for the past 20 years for having all these anxiety issues and like a real self-absorbed jerk I thought I was the only one experiencing this stuff. I’m about to try a ketamine course to see if can help. Not hopeful. Nothing seems to truly make a significant difference

[Zyxx in reply to Hidden]

Everybody thinks that. Not your fault. I also used to think it was all because I wasn’t brave enough, did things the wrong way, etc. That’s what people were telling me - if only I had the right attitude (theirs) I wouldn’t suffer so much from this krap.Now I understand it’s a real disease/affliction. Though people of course still tell me what I should do differently. I bet they do you, too.

No wonder we think it’s only us - I haven’t met a lot of people whose “anxiety” (sounds so mild) is as bad as mine. But I’ve known a few. Like me, they would never want to do their life over, again.

I’m suffering rather miserably at the moment, too. It’s never not there. From the moment I wake until the moment I fall asleep I think “oh god I wish I didn’t feel this awful.” Although I have a good day in between, now and then (when the weather is extremely stable. Weather changes fuck my brain up.)

For me, I know that nothing has ever eradicated this stuff, but when I’m on a high dose SSRI for at least 3 or 4 months I begin to suffer less. Life still sucks, but it’s bearable, and sometimes I even enjoy life, mildly. By then I just worry incessantly that somehow I won’t be able to get my pills. I don’t think I can survive if I go off them, and I don’t say that lightly.

So…seeing you’re 2 weeks in, I’d be really surprised if you were feeling good, by now.

God…I wish I wasn’t feeling so awful. Sigh.

[Zyxx in reply to Zyxx]

Oh, and the ketamine - it does help some people. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.

[AnxiousSilver]

(For me) More information is needed here.

I am on Lex for my severe GAD, PAs, and depression swings. I'm at 12.5 MG (I use a pill cutter to do this, because I'm extremely sensitive to meds, but I'm happy to finally be stable above 10MG)

So here's my question(s) to you.

How long were you on Lex originally, and how long were you off it? When you were on were you mainly at 20MG?

& When you decided to go back on, did they gradually start slow. Like 5MG for a couple of days, then 10MG, then 15MG, then 20MG, or did your doc decide to just start you at 20MG right out of the gate?

& Before I plant any seeds of doubt, (BTW I'm not! ) please stick with your doctors orders! He/she went to med school, I didn't but I have apx. 15+ years of Lex experience.

Just wondering how they tried to put you back on the Lex that's all, so I can "try" to understand your situation a little better.

[Amos1993 in reply to AnxiousSilver]

I was on Lexapro for a few years. I was actually on 40mg once a day. My doctor started me back at 10 my for a week then to go up to 20mg.

[AnxiousSilver in reply to Amos1993]

OK.. Well you body needs to readjust to this "foreign substance" again.

Hopefully you won't need to wait the full 6-8 weeks to get to where you were before.

When is the next time that you see your doc?

[Amos1993 in reply to AnxiousSilver]

I see her in two weeks. Thank you for all your words. This is pretty tough. I just want to wake up and have some relief soon. Take care. God bless you

[AnxiousSilver in reply to Amos1993]

When I first broke down Apx 20 years ago. I went on this "long pill merry go round"

2002, from basically beginning till end was one giant year of me being on some pill, and having dosages increased/decreased, then switched to another pill.

I spent the whole year doing basically nothing but that from a (bad) psych. I don't want to go into him right now, because you are going through your stuff, but he's one of the many reasons why I have trust issues in my life. (I don't see him anymore)

What I'm trying to say.. (and trying to be more positive here lol) I have a lot of experience will pills, med increases and decreases, and I know what it's like to "ride the ride". I know from first hand experience that it's not easy, but you can do this.

Hang in there, and if you need to talk to me more, I'm here.

[Zyxx in reply to AnxiousSilver]

Silver, let me know how it goes for you.I started tapering off (from 30 mg) 2 years ago, after 25 years on SSRIs. It went well until 8 months ago, when I reached about 4 mg.

I started doing badly. So I didn’t go down further. I stayed at 4 mg for 7 months, determined to stick it out. Sadly, I didn’t make it. Despite going to the gym every day, eating extremely healthily, and just doing everything I could to feel ok, I just kept feeling awful, and in the end didn’t feel like going on, anymore.

So I went back on the meds. It’s a defeat, but it seems I just cannot go without them, and/or still suffered withdrawal effects (some people keep having withdrawal effects even for years.)

I hope it will work on for you - as it does for most people.

Keep up the good work!

[Gkaneesdoguu]

I take 30mg twice a day of Buspar for anxiety. I had to be put on that last year because the Sertraline I have been on for several years at max dose of 200mg once a day, stopped being effective for the anxiety. After about a month on this maximum prescription level of Buscar, my anxiety decreased nearly 100%. I have flair-ups now and again, but it is decently under control. Hang in there it does get better. In the meantime, use your resources such as crises and warm lines as well as Case Management and Peer Support if available would be my advice. Also taking a cold shower or holding ice in your hands helps to calm too.

[Spooky99]

I’m your age! I know people with anxiety overthink ! You did the best thing by posting!! I’m sure your fine!!!! Hope your feeling better!

[knitlover64]

Same here. Please know you are not alone. And it will get better. Went off my meds because of a skin reaction I had. Didn't want to go back on because it seemed like the fog had been removed from my brain. Then the anxiety came back full force. OMG it has shaken me to my core. I would have terrifying thoughts and dreams. Cried all the time and didn't trust anyone. Couldn't eat and lost over 10 lbs. My PCP started me on 25mg Zoloft. She didn't have a clue what I was going through and wasn't much help. I ended up going to the urgent care near me. The Nurse Practitioner knew exactly what I was going through and upped my dose to 50 mg. They up it gradually to minimize the side effects. I continue to see her to manage the med. Good luck. Hang in there.

[Zyxx in reply to knitlover64]

I had to give up going off the pills, too. Cried for 7 months and got more anxious than ever before I was on the pills. My god it can get bad, can’t it…id wake up in the mornings and it would be there full force, right away. It simply wasn’t doable anymore. Alas.

[Zyxx in reply to knitlover64]

How are you doing now, knitlover?

[knitlover64 in reply to Zyxx]

Hi Zyxx. Thanks for asking. The Zoloft has taken effect...finally. I got up to 100 mgs a day and seemed to be doing okay, but the itchy skin reaction came back. In addition to my itchy skin, this time it reared its ugly head in my eye. My eyelid swelled up, was itchy and scaly. So I cut the mgs back to 75 a day, the eye problem has gone away. I may try the 100 mgs again and see if it returns. Everyday, I am still struggling to hold things together and keep the anxiety at bay. I still have a racing heart when I wake up, but at least I am not crying all the time now or having terrifying dreams. The medicine has reduced my anxiety enough that I can use natural techniques to handle it. Hope you are also doing better. This is a link to an article about skin reactions to SSRI's if anyone is interested. aaaai.org/Allergist-Resourc....

[Zyxx in reply to knitlover64]

That is so unlucky for you, that you get this skin reaction with a med you really need. I’m glad it goes away at 75 mg. And yes, once the anxiety is at a level where you can try to fight it with natural techniques you’re already doing quite well.I think you and I are much the same. I cried for 7 months, until I upped my meds. Morning anxiety is horrible. It’s such a strongly physical feeling, isn’t it.

[Zhangliqun]

Is there a reason you need to stop the Lexapro?

[Joshgw]

I was on lexapro for 13 years and while it wasn't perfect, it kept me stable and my anxiety in check (at 20mg). I went off (tapered with my doctor) b/c i still felt no joy in anything and it took the highs out as much of the lows. Things were "flattened". that was a year ago and I still really regret it. I have since cycled through Mirtazipine, seroquel, Zyprexa, been hospitalized, ECT, TMS. Now I'm on trintellix and ketamine. I'm extremely emotionally unstable and constantly sobbing. I have severe suicidal ideation. Basically non functional. I wish I could go back but now but I'm stuck. Can't change anything on ketamine. I'm glad you found your way back. Hang in there. It will get better. It's just that lexapro takes a while to kick in.

[Zyxx in reply to Joshgw]

Hey Josh, why can’t you go back on lexapro?I’ve cried for 7 months straight, and 1 month ago I got a strong urge to run under a train. So I went back on the meds. I felt calmer immediately, even though life still sucks. I’m fine with life sucking, and bad anxiety, and all of that, just so long as I don’t get as sick as I was for 7 months.

[Joshgw in reply to Zyxx]

You have to be on an ssri when on spravato (ketamine), so I'd have to taper off my trintellix and then start a new drug all over again. Plus, on lexapro, I had really bad depression paralysis, like inertia. I couldn't do anything at all but sit on the couch and couldn't feel joy in anything. But at least I didn't sob all day and it was good for my anxiety.

[Zyxx in reply to Joshgw]

Yeah….you always end up with some misery or other, don’t you. And changing meds is not exactly a fun thing to do. Ive been sobbing for 7 months, including outdoors, just couldn’t stop anymore. It sucks, doesn’t it. This constant awful feeling.

I feel awful right now, too. Rigid with tension and misery. But it’s a walk in the park compared to some weeks ago.

I really hope you’ll feel a bit better soon because I know you’re suffering, and have, for a long time.