to bad , so sad : when your mother and... - Anxiety and Depre...

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to bad , so sad

kw41716 profile image
19 Replies

when your mother and grandmother talk about your sister like she’s the queen of the world , the best and smartest person , they hold her so high then they think of you and are like yeah that’s my other kid ... 😞 guess i’ll never amount to nothing 👎🏼

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kw41716 profile image
kw41716
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19 Replies

Don't feel that way. Sometimes parents don't realize how much there words hurt us. Every one is different and special in there own way no one should be compared we all have different qualities

kw41716 profile image
kw41716 in reply to

i mean , i feel they ain’t wrong . i haven’t been to college , i don’t work a high pay job , i don’t live on my own , i was never smart . i have issues my sister would never have like depression, anxiety , suicidal thoughts , and i fought 17 yrs in and out of the hospital because i was anorexic 😭

in reply to kw41716

Not everyone has to go to college or have a high paying job to be special. We can't choose who we are but we can choose who we become (did that make sence? 😊), if college isn't your thing there are lots of other things you can do everyone has a different talent and potential we all have a purpose some just find it sooner than others. Your sister might not have the issues you have but you are the stronger daughter you keep fighting and that makes you strong.

kw41716 profile image
kw41716 in reply to

yes that made sense , i just hate fighting and keeping up with her , it’s hard to do ... but thank you for the help and uplifting advice !

gogogirl profile image
gogogirl in reply to kw41716

Why bother keeping up? You are you and you are special.You are courageous for just coming here. I am old, but I remember sort of living in a shadow a long time ago, so I get it. However, life goes on- sometimes family can be complex that is for sure. Also, these days there are many people who are older taking courses or changing careers. If you are in the USA, then unfortunately we have a competitive society, but we also have a population where over one third of the people have experienced depression. Anyway, I understand! Also, pardon me- but what is your sister fighting with you for? Also, people I think who seem to have it all might not be the ones who have survival skills if they fall. Some day you could be the one taking care of her- I have seen this happen even with older people.

kw41716 profile image
kw41716 in reply to gogogirl

oh no , i meant fighting with my mother all the time and keeping up with my sister who is held so high . makes me think i’m never going to be good enough for my mother

gogogirl profile image
gogogirl in reply to kw41716

Well- happy birthday. May you two have a really special celebration.

lil-rose profile image
lil-rose

It's hard to live in a siblings shadow. Just remember you don't need your familiy's approval to be yourself, work on yourself where you are at to be the best version of yourself that you can be! Surround yourself with the people that bring out the best in you and go after your dream, whatever that might be. And if you don't have a dream- start daydreaming and come up with some goal to reach for!

kw41716 profile image
kw41716 in reply to lil-rose

it is difficult to be in the shadows . sadly , it’s been that way my whole life so far . she’s always been better or more liked than me . for example , teachers at school wouldn’t want me because i wasn’t like her , i had health issues and was barely at school to learn , so teachers didn’t want someone skipping class a lot .

Willem22 profile image
Willem22

Ouch, family can be so hurtful. You are worth it, you are special, you are loved. You may not feel it right now, but here is a cyber hug from me to you from a kindred spirit. :-)

kw41716 profile image
kw41716 in reply to Willem22

thank you 🙏🏻 i tried to get through the day without having to fight with her over anything . being belittled all the time does hurt , but she will never notice what i’ve been through to be here, living, right now . that’s her choice i guess but i know i have my friends and fiancé who love me and will always be there to take care of me 💜

gogogirl profile image
gogogirl in reply to kw41716

You're right- that is her choice, and it is a sad one. Sounds like you have a job you enjoy at the school.

kw41716 profile image
kw41716 in reply to gogogirl

i do , im a bus aide , i take care of the kids and watch over them so the driver doesn’t have to . i’ve bonded with a handful of the kids in the past couple years that i enjoyed riding with 😇😌

gogogirl profile image
gogogirl in reply to kw41716

That's wonderful- I have worked in public schools. Your mom should be proud of you- I know I am.

kw41716 profile image
kw41716 in reply to gogogirl

thank you , i never really hear that from my mother . i hear it a lot from my fiancé though ! last year i tried my 3rd suicide attempt , so i went to my boss and explained how i was feeling and stuff , i remember telling him i felt like i wasn’t needed , i still to this day will never forget what he said to me ! he said to me , “the kids , they need and depend on you ! “ .

gogogirl profile image
gogogirl

How sad that your mother is not connecting which sounds like this is more on her than you. My mother has been gone for many years, and I miss her every day. We connected somewhat- then she got more distant. I don't think she really totally got me, and that is what I miss. Wish she was here , but I have a picture of her and my late dad that I keep close by. I did have her mother with whom I connected more I think. I am an old saw , but we have something in common. Your boss is wonderful ! Please let's keep in touch.

kw41716 profile image
kw41716 in reply to gogogirl

sure will !

gogogirl profile image
gogogirl in reply to kw41716

That is great. That's a nice picture of you guys.

kw41716 profile image
kw41716 in reply to gogogirl

that was his birthday last year , he will now be 21 this saturday !

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