This is my first time posting and I don't even know where to begin. My daughter and I have always been very close. There are only a certain number of words that are allowed here, but she has had a very traumatic (first bf passed away) experience and others as a result of my unstable life happen to her. I admit my wrong doinga. Long story short, she had a breakdown about 5 years ago. One where she self abused. No drugs, but physical and mental harm. She pushes everyone who cares for her away. I've always had a problem with depression and anxiety and have handled it extremely poorly. Recently my daughter has been spiraling downward and out of control. She has no problem telling me how terrible of a mother I was, that I still am, how I make everything worse, she comes up with things that are completely untrue. She tries her best and goes out of her way to hurt me as much as she possibly can. And then she ignores me.
I only want to be sure that she is safe. I can't know that if she shuts me out. She has my 2yr old grandson who I love so unbelievably much. To see him every day for a week (I stay with her to watch him alot) to no contact is torture. I can't sleep. It's SO depressing to the point of where I have barely made it out of bed for going on 2 weeks. I can't even bring myself to shower. My anxiety is through the roof. Something needs to give