On a vacation w boyfriends family and kids. Life is beautiful. The things that make me sad keep coming to mind every time I feel this love and.... the anxiety I’ve had my whole life does this. I hate it but it’s not as scary as worrying about feeling the sad feeling. Hating myself in the mirror knowing I shouldn’t do activities the family is doing because I don’t know myself right now. I feel like every time I feel ok depression taps my shoulder to remind me why I get so sad. Going to weekly counseling, sleeping ok now. Wtf do I do to stop this. ???