I wish i can just stop over thinking

I hate i just cant cut my brain off. It just keep going and going most of time o don't get any sleep if i do i always pick up were i was be4 i fall to sleep. I think most of it come with living with a deadly illness which my body and health changes but i still keep it pushing even when i want to give up. And i hate that i can't just give up. Im losing more and more of my self to real i really dont know who i am anymore i all i know that i have to keep it together because i have a to take care of so i keep it pushing. But im so afraid that i wont be able to. Ifeeling like every body judging me or looking down on me when i come along without taking mom or another path.. see mind just going

[lgehami]

I empathize to an extent. I tried adopting Christianity because my crush is a very devout Christian, and then I found things that didn't make sense and I could not get my mind on anything else. It's partially led to where I am now, and now I'm relying on the same faith to change my brain entirely, fpr I feel as though I lost control over my thinking.

I'd tell you to seek treatment, but I'm sure you already have. Just know that we're here for you.