Advice needed

[Ria29]

So I have been suffering with depression and anixiety. This has been going on for nearly 2 years now, but only told my husband about 6 months ago. It started when I found out he had been seeing someone at work, he said nothing actually happened but that he did keep it from me , that he did have feeling for her and that it probably would have gone further if i hadn't have found out. I started having panic attacks and went to the doctor who put me on anti depressants and when I told him he said I should just get over it nothing happened and i was overreacting. So i stopped them, supressed my feelings for over a year and basically had a fall scale melt down. So now I dealing with this, going to counselling, taking anti depressant etc. I have learnt that I do have low self esteem and it stems from things that happen when I was growing up, I just never felt good enough or felt that I was just a joke to everyone in my family. I met my husband when I was 16 and we have now been together 17 years and have 2 children. So the event that happened 2 years ago was a trigger to my childhood. (so i'm told).

So he knows I have these issues, with self worth and low self esteem, and today I have seen on his facebook (he left it logged in on my laptop) that when he was out the other night, he was waving at girls on facebook, I know I sound crazy but these actions just reinforce my feelings that he doesnt love me, or is looking for someone else and he knows how hard i'm trying at the minute. I dont know weather to tell him because it will lead to a fight, or bottle it up and be sad and then snap at him and have a fight.

Sometimes I just hate being me so much, I have endometriosis so spend a lot of time in pain, and I have had the most horrendous week pain wise that I just am at the end of my patience right now. Am currently sitting at work trying my hardest not to cry and just wish that I could never leave my bed.

Any advice would be great.

Thank

[fauxartist]

I have a good friend who went through similar things, they found stuff on the laptop, cellphone, etc. was told to not be so paranoid....I say.....If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck...it's a duck. Get your financial affairs in order and document everything from this point on. If your okay with him having his cake and eat it too...that's fine, but it sounds like your the one being played...so clean your glasses, and start looking clearly at what's going on, go to a counselor and get advice.

[Sprinkle1]

Hello, I have to agree with fauxarist - do Not Put Up with this Sh*t, You are a worthwhile lovable person. Do not let this male use and abuse you. Find yourself a Good therapist and get yourself sorted out, You deserve a decent life, and let me tell you, I have been married to 3 losers, I am quite happy being single, come and go as I please, and do not have to put up with the stress of what ever "he" decides to do. What ever you do do Not hate yourself, I used to until my therapist taught me not to. I also had endometriosis my gynecologist took care of that, a simple operation. Find yourself, get the metal back in your spine, do not give into his use and abuse, you are stronger than you know you are. Do you have a good friend who will give you love and support? You can always talk to us here, we care and will help you if we can. I send you love, support and energy. Sprinkle 1 xxx

[Windy101]

Your husband sounds like he wants to lead a single lifestyle. No wonder you're depressed. If you're not happy with this relationship, it's time to get out.

You can get through this and survive. You're not alone. We're all here for you and understand the depression you're going through and how tough that is.

I wish you the best. You're worth more than how you're being treated.