Help

[blueone]

My boyfriend’s been putting me through an emotional roller coaster ride since we started dating. He has issues from past relationships that he’s let affect our relationship. I go above and beyond to prove to him i’m different, that our relationship is different. Today he dumped me for the second time now and it hurts just as much as the first time. I’ve had abusive relationships in the past and this is really triggering my PTSD. The irony of it all is i have an amazing life. I work in a rehab/mental health facility helping people, i was named employee of the month yesterday. I have three wonderful children who never get tired of telling me how much they love me and a family that supports me unconditionally. I’ve made helping people my purpose in life. Why can’t I help myself? Why do I still feel so empty and alone? I have no appetite, I drink to be able to sleep, i’m constantly nauseous, my hands shake and I pretend to be happy just to fulfill this image people have of me. I feel like i’m crying and screaming at the top of my lungs and no one can hear me.

[Hidden]

Peace and joy is what he gave u when he walked out. Change the locks now. If he comes around tell him "no take backs". You sound like u are doing well for yourself thanks to God. Don't let no one take u backwards.I know u may love him but you would not like living the next 18 years like this. God will cover all. Love u to life.💖

[blueone in reply to Hidden]

KeptByGod thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I need to remember and trust God will carry me through the hardest of times. I’ll pray for tomorrow to be better.

[Justswimming]

I'm so sorry hon ..you know you have to just let him go or he'll keep it up...I spent 5 years with someone abusive and he played that break up game and I got nausea and sad and desperate not to have it end but after awhile it gets old and you realize that someone who really loved you wouldn't put you through that..you can't change him the only one you can control is yourself so start taking care of yourself ..go to gym, get haircut, get some music that you like, do stuff with your family and friends ..if they're busy go to a movie yourself there's a lot of good ones out...you know you need to see a therapist so you can work through the why you accept that treatment.. Trust me you won't be alone forever just call his bluff and let him go..you don't need the emotional abuse he's putting you through..you deserve respect and love that's healthy and stable ...concentrate on all the good things in your life and get off that rollercoaster.. I know easier said then done ...take care of you ..treat yourself like you would a friend. Try some deep breathing slowly inhale and hold for 4 than slowly breathe out focusing on your breathing do this 10 times feeling your abdomine rise as you inhale and fall when you exhale.

[blueone in reply to Justswimming]

Justswimming you’re absolutely right..I don’t think he’ll ever change and I need to do what’s best for me. I did exactly what you advised: called his bluff and let him go. I know it’ll hurt less as the days go by but this is a great way to start the healing process. I feel so alone at times because I don’t talk to my family about my personal life so knowing I have support from people like you is helping tremendously. Thank you so much.

[Brinks9]

Even if you don't see it you are helping yourself by doing what you love: helping others. Its great that you have your family's support! Having them is especially helpful at a time like this. I'm sorry about your situation, but allowing him out of your life will be another great way to help yourself. You are strong!

[blueone in reply to Brinks9]

Brinks9 I appreciate your support. I think I forget how strong I can truly be and almost feel lost without a purpose sometimes. My passion is helping other and it makes me feel so good knowing there are people willing to step up, complete strangers mind you, and help me find myself and remind me to love myself again.

[Isaack]

Don't ever go back with him again. Don't waste your time. He had enough chances. You deserve better and yes congrats on being a good employee and also a wonderful mother !!

[blueone in reply to Isaack]

Isaack thank you so much for your love and support. Your words of encouragement will resonate with me as I push through these next few rough days.

[Isaack in reply to blueone]

Stay strong and positive!! And may God bless you