My boyfriend’s been putting me through an emotional roller coaster ride since we started dating. He has issues from past relationships that he’s let affect our relationship. I go above and beyond to prove to him i’m different, that our relationship is different. Today he dumped me for the second time now and it hurts just as much as the first time. I’ve had abusive relationships in the past and this is really triggering my PTSD. The irony of it all is i have an amazing life. I work in a rehab/mental health facility helping people, i was named employee of the month yesterday. I have three wonderful children who never get tired of telling me how much they love me and a family that supports me unconditionally. I’ve made helping people my purpose in life. Why can’t I help myself? Why do I still feel so empty and alone? I have no appetite, I drink to be able to sleep, i’m constantly nauseous, my hands shake and I pretend to be happy just to fulfill this image people have of me. I feel like i’m crying and screaming at the top of my lungs and no one can hear me.