New looking for conversation

[APERFECTWORLD]

Hi, I joined because I am depressed and I feel like I am going crazy at the same time. I constantly do things that push people away. Everything about my life sucks right now and I don't know how to make it better because I don't know myself. I keep making bad decisions trying to find myself. Help.

[Clarebear86]

Hi, how are you doing? You may think you push people away, but by writing your post your asking for help and support. So well done for taking that first step. You’ll find a lot of people feel and do a lot of the same things you do.

[APERFECTWORLD in reply to Clarebear86]

Hi, im doing well. How about yourself? Eventually I would like to figure out how to not do that and how to fell happy.

[Sprinkle1]

Hi, I want to be nosy - what is your age? If you are young I expect it is because you are testing out the world. Have you learnt to check your temper, so you do not blurt out something that may offend the other person. When you are going to do something do you weigh up your action, will it be positive or negative. I would suggest you find a decent therapist who can give you some good guidance. And remember some of the people you hang out with may not be tolerant. So do not blame it all on yourself, but get some help, you deserve to have friends and enjoy your life. I wish you well, sending love & hugs. Sprinkle 1

[APERFECTWORLD in reply to Sprinkle1]

Hi, I really appreciate you responding. I'm 23 and I'm a recent college grad so I am testing out the world. It never crossed my mind that It could be my temper or that I should weight up my actions. I honestly feel that if I do I will be even more unhappy because I am what people want me to be. Does that make sense?

[Clarebear86]

Do you change yourself to meet others expectations of you? Do you get or feel like you are constantly criticised and have to change to react to those criticisms?

[APERFECTWORLD in reply to Clarebear86]

Yes, everything I do is because people expect me to do it. I think it stems from insecuries and being neglected as a child. When I do want I want and what I think will make me happy I end up disappointing others and then eventually becoming unhappy.

[Clarebear86 in reply to APERFECTWORLD]

Yes, I have this problem. I try always to please others, forgetting about me and my needs. Try not to beat yourself up over it (easier said than done, right). Try and be kind to yourself and yes try and make others happy, but don’t sacrifice who you are in the process.

[APERFECTWORLD in reply to Clarebear86]

That's good advice. It sucks because I feel that I don't know myself or who I am because this is a habit I've had my entire life. Any tips on exploring myself?