Life Has Meaning

[Macen]

Everything seems so bleak and hopeless sometimes in my head that it causes me to make really poor, impulsive, decisions. It makes me go right back to old coping mechanisms and bad habits that just drive me down further.

I get so bad that I forget why life is worth living. I feel like I’m stuck in a never ending cycle of depression and bad decisions and I start to believe that’s who I am. I begin to doubt my ability to ever have a happy life or to achieve any goals I could set. I feel like a burden to the people around me and just like a waste of space. My irritable mood and pessimistic attitude further isolate me from people who might want to help me. I forget to eat and my sleeping is erratic so I feel dizzy and unable to think clearly so I couldn’t leave the house even if I wanted to.

Sounds like a recipe for a bad time eh?

I’ve got to learn not to get trapped in this cycle though. I’ve got to learn to be self aware and take care of myself early so I don’t fall into this pattern. I need to have hope that things will get better even if I can’t have all the answers right now. That life is good and worth fighting for even if I don’t always know what’s in store.

Thank goodness for clear days like today even in the midst of a black storm, or I wouldn’t be able to recover.

[Ml601]

I felt the same way this time last year. I was so angry at everything nd anything possible. I isolated myself and also went thru all my bad coping skills which only made things worse as the days went. I just wanted to say the only way to get past that is to stop using those bad coping skills and letting go of the anger and pain of course you'll still have bad days but you wont feel like ur stuck in a black hole anymore. Im not perfect but compared to the place I was this time last year im doing pretty good. I hope thing's get better for you. Good luck(:

[Mjshells]

I am definitely in the same 'predicament' as you describe, have been for about a year now.

The way I can tell that you will get through these hard times is from your post itself, you have so much insight about what's holding you back and about what you know you need to do in order to crawl out of the black hole of depression, constant negative thinking, and isolation; there are many people who don't and/or can't see that.

The thing that WE are missing is a positive realistic plan of action to do those things and someone to hold us accountable in sticking with it even through the rough days. My coping skills or lack of coping skills is hindering me the most. My biggest hurdle seems to be figuring out and applying positive healthy coping skills instead of my default of take a drug and/or run and hide from my problems/issues. From your post it seems like you're struggling with things like that as well.

If you need/want to talk you're more than welcome to message me. I think we could both benefit from talking about these issues.