I feel so lonely and unwanted. No one wants to hang out with me, no one asks how I am or if I would like to do something with them. I’ve just gone through an awful and confusing as hell breakup and I didn’t even know about this even though our friends did, and no one even asked me about it or if I was okay - it feels as though my whole life I’ve just seemed like an unapproachable person? Even though I try so damn hard for everyone? I am always asking people how life is, checking in on them etc. But no one ever does that to me? Even my closest friends seem to have this idea that I have some sort of busy lifestyle and I’m not worth communicating with or asking to hang out, yet they are all supporting my ex and hanging out with him? I’m so confused why is it that my whole life people just never look out for me or ask if I’m doing okay? It’s so messed up because I’m always reaching out and putting my energy into friendships and today I just bought Christmas presents for them but it’s not even going to make any difference. My ex has all the support and is going out at weekends with them, people are asking him how he is but no one even bothers to check on me even though I’m going through a worse time since it was him that broke up with me, in a really horrible way.
I truly, truly feel unwanted, and no matter how much effort I put into current and new friendships, no one gives a sh*t. I’m just so done. There is no point in me being here. I give so much to others and I get nothing, not even to ask how I am or if I need company, despite me telling them the whole situation and that I literally NEED company. There is definitely something wrong with me / that I am doing wrong because no one wants to be around me and I just don’t see the point in existing to be honest.
Firstly well done for expressing yourself. I hope it has helped in some way. Perhaps people don’t know how to approach the situation with you and ask how you are? I was the same at work. No one seemed to be talking to me and they knew what had happened. She said she realised that no one was talking to me and it was because no one probably knew what to say. I know it doesn’t make things better, as you just want someone to ask you and talk to you. But that’s all it could be. When your upset and struggling everything is magnified and seems a lot worse than it actually is.
It sounds to me like he is lying and being manipulative with your friends. A true friend would know better. A true friend would care. So, how are you? Not how your friends treat you but how are you? We care! All of us! I feel like I walk in your shoes except that I don’t have any friends. My husband is a mentally abusive alcoholic. Too bad you don’t live near me! The only time my family calls is if they need something. It really sucks. Anxiety, depression and stress are very lonely diseases. It sucks. Maybe your friends feel guilty. Maybe they weren’t true friends to begin with. A true friend is with you when the going gets tough. If I was you I would try to find better friends. It sounds like your boyfriend wasn’t worthy of such a sweet young lady as yourself anyway. You need to take care of yourself and only care about the people who care about you equally. Obviously there are times it is give and take but they have to give as much as they take! I worry about everyone! So I know how you feel. Even when they aren’t worried about me! They can only treat you how you allow them too! You are worthy of so much more. Boy do I feel like a hypocrite but it’s so true. I hope you find some true friends and your Prince Charming. I think he may have just been a frog! Good luck. It will get better! Take there gifts back and treat yourself to a spa day or massage. Something special. They don’t seem worthy. You definitely are! We are hear for you!
I've had that situation, a couple times actually. I think sometimes the male gets all the attention in a breakup because now he's on the market. It's terrible, but as women we can be competitive with each other and not as supportive as we need to be. It hurts to see our friends turn away! But he probably is lying and manipulating, and maybe some of them are even hoping he will end of liking them. That's pathetic.
The good thing about a breakup is that it gives you a chance to focus on yourself. These friends who are ignoring you? Presents, calling, checking on them, etc. are not going to bring them around. You need some real friends and real things in your life that will make you happy. A new year is ahead of you. What do you want to fill it with?
You sound like such a sweet, fun person, and there are good people out there who will care about you. You deserve that. In life, all of us will meet people who don't care about us. What's beautiful is when we connect with people who do, even if that's just a few special friends.
Meanwhile, we care and you've just made a big group of good friends right here. I hope you can focus less on these people and trying to get them to like you and more on all the beautiful things about yourself. The holidays don't have to be painful but can be a time of hope.
I'm sending you a big hug and wishes sprinkled with hope for a new start and happiness just ahead.
You are not alone, I feel the exact same way. It's very hard some days. Idk where you live but I would hang out with you, and the previous post was true we all care about you here! I'm here if you need or want to talk, I hope you are hanging in there and doing a little better today. Forget that loser guy, take a hot shower and cry it out, it does help. As for those fake friends stop trying with them, don't give them the gifts take them back and get yourself something nice insead! Don't worry they will be mad or anything just try to focus on things that you can do for yourself to help you heal. Message me anytime on here and we can talk. I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety lately with the same kind of thing so I hope I was able to help and this post made sense lol
Firstly, so sorry about what you have gone through. It sucks being on the receiving end of this treatment. However I am not surprised that the man is out being treated like the victim. Life is not fair on women, especialy as we age.
Add in the fact you say that your friends knew what was up before you, and they are maybe feeling ashamed of themselves. Guilt can make it hard for them to deal with seeing you, and vice cersa. The sad thing though is that you miss out. Do you feel able to forgive people who might have felt caught between you, or misled by your ex? Maybe ask them why they hid it. This gives them the chance to explain if they were trying to protect you.
Men do seem to find it easier to get sympathy when they are alone. Women either are interested in him as a possible date, or want to mother him. It is not a reflection on you. Secondly, men who cheat are also likely to be good liars. It will always be the woman's fault, and they will not take the chance to grow and learn from the experience by rushing back out into the dating scene. Comfort yourself with the knowledge that any so called friend who drops you to be with him is likely to experience the same treatment down the line. Thirdly, men find it easier to go out alone, which provides opportunities to meet new people, or for existing friends who are also wanting to go out and socialise to see him alone. You could do this too, but it is harder, and society tends to view women drinking alone as available for all the wrong reasons.
So what to do.
DO NOT give people presents who have ignored you, unless you feel they have a good reason, such as family problems of their own which has meant they did not have the energy to pick up on your difficulties. Try not to allow your problems to blind you to the misfortunes of other, but at the same time, it is ok to ask for a hug and their support. Mutual love and support is at the bas eof the best friendships.
This is a time for you to receive help, and if it is not available from others, give it to yourself. Why not ask your friends to go for a Spa day, or try a new activity, or go alone.
Very importantly, try to not focus on your unhappiness all the time. Watch a funny film, or expend your feelings in the gym. Put a big smile on and go out for a Christmas party, and if you bump into your ex, remember to act with self-respect. He has the right to do what is good for him, but so have you. Keep your cool and focus on what is right for you.
These so called friends are not your friends as a real one would want to talk to you and try and help so forget them . Also forget your alcoholic ex. I was married to a very nasty one and was much happier when I got rid of him although it took a while. Treat yourself to nice clothes and time will help you to feel more positive. You are worth a lot more than you think xx
There isnothing wrong with you. Sounds like your going thru a really rough time which is causing you to feel the way you are. Im sure you've heard this before but if they aren't there for you and they are ur closest friends then either they are not being this way towards u intentionally(maybe they dont know you need them as much as you do at the moment) idk the whole situation so its hard to say. Or they are not good friends to you. Just because they arent living up to be the friends you need at the moment doesnt mean there is anything wrong with you I hope you know that. I hope you feel better. Sometimes we dont have the right people in our lives don't let these people make u feel unwanted. I know it's easier said than done I just hope these words make you feel a little better.
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