Feel so unwanted. Loath this knowing feeling that I am probably now the only one single out of everyone I know due to being so

[Mijmijkey74]

Feel so unwanted, alone and unlovable. Loath this knowing feeling that I am probably now the only one single never been married never really been wanted and truly loved by anyone. And that's out of everyone I know it feels, because they all have someone in their lives it appears who loves and wants them, who care about them. It is embarrassing and extremely depressing and makes me feel even more hidious and repulsive facially due to me being so hideously ugly facially with this massive nose stuck on my face with it's massive wide open nostrils that I want to take an axe to and chop it off as it turns people off me so much and turns me off repulsed everytime I see my face. I never look nice as this hideous head on me ruins everything. Nice outfit and then people get to my face and reel back in disgust and I see them do it time and time again as if they are beautiful looking enough themselves to be repulsed by my whole head and the deformaties protruding from it bigger/finer/thinner/smaller than their own. Though I too am repulsed by it. Others reactions even young children and the elderly without me saying a word tell me enough in how tgey react and treat me, and how they also speak to me if they must. A baboons red flaming hideous arse is less repulsive than the whole of my head. I am treated as if I am a pile of vomit, hurled out green and black globby stringy sputum and a pile of dog 💩 to seriously avoid because it looks so repulsive! Nobody wants those repulsive things near them. People cringe to be seen with me because nobody likes being seen with anyone or anything repulsively hideous looking and me aging too is making it all worse along with my teeth falling out since my coma and I can't even afford dental implants so that is going to turn anyone off me even more when all my teeth are gone. I don't want to live this life anymore it is completely soul destroying and devastating. Absolutely nobody wants me in any way. Not even my own family members, loathed because of my facial appearance and grew up hearing repeatedly from people, even strangers about how big my nose is, how ugly hideous looking I was/I am, bullied because of it, had and still have people shout horrible insultive names at me. All because of this whole head stuck on my neck. Even an icu nurse who thought in my coma still that I couldn't hear her was insulting my appearance out loud I guess to another icu nurse in the room. I was furious and woke up. She admits her wrong doing in my coma diary, though doesn't say what she said, and I can't remember anymore but know it was derogatory about my apoerance and it made me so furious I woke up. Just want this torture that never stops that is my life to end in one way or another. It either gets better, or I die.

[gajh]

Are you in therapy or are you able to get therapy? It is very sad that you feel this way about yourself. I hope you are able to get some help.

[TailWags]

Wow, you sound so unhappy. I too am one of those single people. I remember feeling glad when i got older as people would stop asking me about a significant other, expecting me to have one when i was younger. Now many people are either still single or single again. I have dated a few people over the years, but nothing that "took". I do not know what you look like or the people who are around you. But i think in some cases people just dont meet their wonderful person. I havent met mine and now doubt i ever will. But one thing i know is i would rather be in no relationship than a bad one. I have met many people i definately would not want to date. Yet some of them are married and some very nice interesting people i know are not married. I also think that not all couples are as happy as they look. Being human can be hard. We are all plunked into one life or another. I have no idea why. But our differences are what define us as individuals. There are many sources of misery. We all seem to have some. Guess i dont have any wisdom or advice, just observations and opinions.

[CLB1125]

Im so sorry you feel so badly. Our physical features do not make up who we are. Do you talk with anyone to help you cope? You said you can’t afford implants, have you considered dentures? They are more economical. Just a suggestion. My son needs all his teeth removed and has decided on dentures because he can’t afford the implants. I’m glad you are here to talk with us.

[mijmij in reply to CLB1125]

Very very late in my reply I’m sorry and also sorry for your son having to have dentures. For me I do have teeth but many missing and have since discovered the cause not only from my coma but also from dangerously low vitamin D deficiency which I can’t fantom why so dangerously low as do get a very good amount of sunlight on my skin in the summer and being fair skinned any sunlight had should easily top me up. No wonder my hair has been falling out in handful’s long strands not single hairs for past several months. Anyway back to the dentures I couldn’t abide them, they would make me feel even more hideous, depressed and suicidal than I already feel. If I were 80 or older I wouldn’t care but I’m far off 80 and care about my appearance and still have hope to meet Mr Right for me and me Ms Right for him before I’m 65. That since December gives me just 15 flyby fast years and with this hideous head/these hideous facial features stuck atop my neck and pancake boobs too I don’t really stand much chance because people do first and foremost go off looks whether we care to accept and acknowledge that or deny it. It is true, even in older age it is true. Can’t be passionate with someone we find facially hideous/repulsive/unattractive, we can live with them though, but there wouldn’t be any attraction if not attracted and both individuals must be equally attracted to each other. I do go for looks but personality must be right too. Couldn’t be with someone I found facially repulsive it wouldn’t work in bed if you understand without me needing to go into further detail. Though I do believe we can learn to love people and no longer see how facially unattractive/hideous they are because personality makes up for it, that is rare as in general we must be facially attracted to a potential partner as well as attracted to their personality and physically. Not looking for perfection, just Mr right and still believe he is out there somewhere but whether we meet in this lifetime is rapidly against the odds as I’m grounded indefinitely in my home town no finances to go searching. Perhaps true love doesn’t exist and people just pick someone because they have a bit of an attraction to them but nothing heart thumping or heart stopping. A man who kisses me and makes my knees go weak and vice versa for him would be enough if we we happy and comfortable together in each other’s company. I’ve had the weak knees from being kissed but the rest wasn’t right and weak knees from being kissed just aren’t enough for a solid relationship when the rest of the relationship is not right. Happy Valentines Day to you and thanks for your reply.