Hi guys. I’m back. So... I’ve gotten through Monday and it was actually a pretty good day. Low anxiety, no signs of depression and I was able to keep myself encouraged throughout the day. I don’t take these good days for granted because at any point things can take a negative turn.
For thanksgiving my fiancé and I are traveling to spend the holiday with one of his best friends. We’ll be staying with him and his wife who has a toddler. I’m sure they’ll have other family and friends there also and I’m sure it’ll be a nice time, but it’s the social aspect of this that concerns me. My anxiety is often triggered by social settings or interactions with strangers. I freak out at the thought of having a conversation with people This is surprising to most people I know because from their perspective I’m quite the sociable hostess, but what they don’t know is the mouse wheel of thoughts that’s happening in my brain at the same time to make even the slightest dialogue a success. Not to mention the week after filled with playbacks and guilt as I critique even my slightest mistake or misunderstanding, which no one else probably even paid attention to or even noticed. It seems ridiculous, but a lot of mental effort goes into social settings for me. I just rather stay in my comfort zone, home, but that’s not always possible so I just try my best and power thru.