Monday

[HigherLearning]

Hi guys. I’m back. So... I’ve gotten through Monday and it was actually a pretty good day. Low anxiety, no signs of depression and I was able to keep myself encouraged throughout the day. I don’t take these good days for granted because at any point things can take a negative turn.

For thanksgiving my fiancé and I are traveling to spend the holiday with one of his best friends. We’ll be staying with him and his wife who has a toddler. I’m sure they’ll have other family and friends there also and I’m sure it’ll be a nice time, but it’s the social aspect of this that concerns me. My anxiety is often triggered by social settings or interactions with strangers. I freak out at the thought of having a conversation with people This is surprising to most people I know because from their perspective I’m quite the sociable hostess, but what they don’t know is the mouse wheel of thoughts that’s happening in my brain at the same time to make even the slightest dialogue a success. Not to mention the week after filled with playbacks and guilt as I critique even my slightest mistake or misunderstanding, which no one else probably even paid attention to or even noticed. It seems ridiculous, but a lot of mental effort goes into social settings for me. I just rather stay in my comfort zone, home, but that’s not always possible so I just try my best and power thru.

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

It sounds like you have a very real grasp on what is to come! What I hear is that people think you are a sociable hostess Most of the things you feel you weren’t as good at weren’t noticed You are already one step ahead of the game I wish I could hide my social anxiety! So look at your proofs! You have been in social situations before, no one has noticed anything that worries you, you are thought to be sociably appropriate nothing horrible happened! I have faith in you! Instead of worrying about feeling horrible know that you don’t appear that way and focus on visualizing everything going great! Easier said than done I know but if you can change your perspective that will help. Communicate your feelings with your boyfriend You could make a sign like touching your nose if you’re feeling overwhelmed and he can take the lead and take the attention off of you. The child can be a good outlet too everyone loves it when you acknowledge their child Go talk to the child they won’t notice your anxiety like that they really don’t know better ask them to show you something in another room if it gets Back excuse your self to use the restroom, get something from the car which will give you fresh air also. Lean on you boyfriend for moral support! I hope you have a wonderful holiday! Let us know how it goes! You got this!

[HigherLearning in reply to Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

Thanks so much! You’re right- all these suggestions should help me get through. I’ve been a dealing with this for so long, without effective help from professionals, that I’ve learned to lean on my faith and find the strength in myself to get through. I try to notice patterns in my anxiety and depression in order to help me try to curb it. Changing my perspective is also extremely important because that frames the entire situation. This is more difficult to do because of how the scripts of my experiences are so much engrained in my thoughts. It’s been a journey but I’ve been determined not to allow it to hinder me. I appreciate your input and hope you have a fantastic holiday as well!