Handling friend with anxiety/depression?

[perfectdestruction]

I have been suffering from anxiety/depression for over 10 years and I am in the process of coming out of a terrible episode I had over the past year and I am struggling in how I should handle my friend who is now saying she is very anxious/depressed because her boyfriend of two years just broke up with her recently. She has been through a lot with losing her mother a few years back as well, I am just perplexed that I am her best friend but she doesn't want to be around me at all. She always tells me I am her best friend and yet this past friday she said she was meeting up with her old co-worker and couldn't meet up with me, and yesterday night she said she's too anxious/depressed to hang out. The anxious/depressed story would work if she didn't go out to meet up with an old co-worker the night before. I'm feeling slighted by her, and I am not trying to blame her or attack her I just don't know how to go about saying it's aggravating that she won't open up to me or come talk to me because I opened up a lot to her when I was struggling and know from going through an intensive out-patient program you're supposed to be around others. This has been happening a couple months, I am just feeling like the friendship is one-sided with her only being able to meet up when its convenient to her, that's why I don't really ask to hang out with her as much because the answer is usually no. I'm really just confused and don't know to go about the situation.

[Windy101]

My suggestion is, get busy with some other things and let her come to you for a while. Don't call, don't offer to make plans. Let her call you and let her suggest get-togethers. Maybe she needs some space, for whatever reasons she has. You don't know what's in her head and she may not even know, going through some difficult times as she is.

What can you do in the meantime? You can clean your place, you can go for walks, you can read, you can watch movies, you can make plans for things you've always wanted to do like volunteering, starting an exercise program, eating healthier, etc.

You can reach out to family or other friends to do things with. If there is no one else, then maybe it's time to think how to meet some new people or to join a support group.

Whatever you do .... don't try to read her mind or guess what her actions mean or worry about this too much. If she is really your best friend, all will be well. We can tie ourselves in knots over situations like this, which won't make them better. All you can do is let her make her own choices, and have the best life that you can making your own choices.

[Sprinkle1]

Hello, I agree with Windy, let her sort herself out, and as you know when we are depressed we often isolate ourselves. Do you have a therapist or support group you can talk to and get some feed back? Do not blame yourself in any way for her behavior. Be extra kind to yourself, do at least one nice thing a day for yourself and stay as positive as you can. Do you have any other friends you can spend time with? Remember we are here for you, so write to us and we will do what we can to help. Sending Love, peace and good wishes. Sprinkle 1

p.s. Has she seen a Dr. and been diagnosed depressed/anxiety, seems a little odd that is what you had, and now she is claiming same!!!